Episode 19

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Published on:

11th Jun 2024

From Victim to Victor

Ethan Poetic joins us to share his journey from victim to victor. How he overcame poverty, a tragedy and abandonment to writing & speaking publicly to inspire others to live their best life.

Learn more: https://EthanSpeaks.com


Jill Hart - the Coach's Alchemist & host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast is dedicated to empowering life, health and transformational coaches being the change they want to see in the world. Join our private community, where you will find support, networking & collaboration, get featured on our podcast and we also provide coaching to help you find clients with podcasts. It all starts with joining our community! (it's free)

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Transcript
::

Hi and welcome to the You World Order Showcase podcast. Today we have with us Ethan Poetic Ethan's an author, speaker and life coach, and he hopes to inspire others to live their best life. Welcome to the show, Ethan. It's really going to be exciting to learn your story and learn more about you.

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Hey, I'm excited for the type of questions you're gonna ask me. I'm gonna say, do I need to be a don't need a lawyer just in case I get interrogated.

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No, no, I don't do that kind of podcasting actually. I just, we just have a conversation. So tell.

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That sounds good.

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Us your story.

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Hey, I am Ethan. A poetic I am a self published author and everything she has said my website isethanspeaks.com and of course I'm a self published author of a hardcover, softcover ebooks and newly released audio version and looking forward to doing more serious inquiries about speaking engagements.

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My story started in Coatesville, PA, coming from a single parent house with A5.

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And that was a big disadvantage cause we had multiple different fathers.

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And we don't have a consistent person to lead the way.

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It creates challenges and barriers and it shows that.

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You know, unfortunately for some women.

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They're not taking on more responsibility than they.

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Can.

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Bear.

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And along the way, I was growing up in poverty, where I was on welfare with the food stamps, the WIC and everything else.

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But moving forward, my skates were like video games and playing sports and helping the community. One of the key things that change in my life before we get to the the dramatic.

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Was moving from coastal Pennsylvania to Lancaster, PA in the middle of my 8th grade year. I just couldn't believe it that I'm leaving everything I've known, in all likelihood to start all over.

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Really difficult. I I wasn't Navy brat. And we lived all over the world. And every two years.

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Bundled it up and move someplace else.

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Sometimes across the the world to different places, so it it really does disrupt your life.

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And any support system that you may have established and growing up with one parent and multiple father.

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There.

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Makes it difficult when you when you're moving because you do set up systems of support. When you're established in someplace, so where you might have.

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You might have overcome some of the challenges because you did have a safety or you had a some sort of a support.

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When you are living in the 1st place, when you moved to the second place, I would imagine that it.

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It was just.

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A whole wiping the slate clean and we're going to start over. Experience was that kind of.

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How it went for you?

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Yeah, it it was only two people here in Lancaster. Initially it was just an uncle and my second cousin.

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Uh, the other people that were in my family, I didn't know that was related to them until an ancestry DNA test in 2018. And you know, the barriers start, you know, being unleashed and everything else. But along the way, I did, you know, cross support, you know, through sports with the coaches.

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And there was also a home monitor who graduated from Thaddeus Stevens College. His name is Mr. Clyde E Brown second.

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And he was very instrumental with helping guide me my last two years of high school with just being in his presence and learn something, the man.

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Mannerisms that he had and was doing as he was also a father of many.

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Grown adults and several grandchildren and several great grandkids of his.

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Own.

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But especially I end up, you know, because of senior year, I end up having a job at Arby's.

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And.

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You know that that's something I look back when I realized if I would have better support system, I should have finished, you know, being a student athlete the last three years of high school have a Division One offer at my national signing day.

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And a whole bunch of other equalities and things moving forward.

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Uh, owing towards 2011, where my life was at a cusp where I was facing a near death experience.

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So tell us about that. How did that happen?

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Has anyone ever like seen a car accident on the highway?

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Where it involves the cops, the ambulance.

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The fire department.

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Have you ever imagined how traffic is so backed up both ways that your life gets put on, put on hold? Can you imagine just seeing somebody get put on a stretcher?

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With a neck brace.

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Can you imagine?

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How a car can get cut in half of the jaws of life?

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That was my car accident. Head on with an 18 Wheeler.

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Whilst facing mathematical equation of 99% chance of death versus 1% chance of life.

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That 99% chance is higher than somebody.

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Filing for divorce.

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Winning the lottery.

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And many other things that we are assistant matically.

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And able to either experience or not experience, but it was the faith of a mustard seed of 1% that shows 1%.

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Can be 99%.

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And.

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You know, it was so much going on between and hospital ride.

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Going from Paradise, PA.

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To Lancaster City, to the nearest hospital, Lancaster General Hospital.

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I was put on several prayer lists.

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They were just unsure if I would make it or not with a high risk surgery.

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How? How did the accident happen?

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And then it was just a.

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Huh.

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How did the accident happen?

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My driver just hit the 18 Wheeler and.

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Unfortunately, you know.

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Things happen and I was behind them, and that mathematical equation that I was facing was just.

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Just really stood out.

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It stood out so much that, you know, was on the operating table. A woman had cried because she thought I didn't make it.

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And then then instead of just calling the more, the more in the corner inside to see my wake up.

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One day pass two day pass, I wake up two times.

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First time is when I'm heavily medicated.

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In a subconscious way.

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The second time I wake up.

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Well, it's less medicine, but I look around and wonder, where am I at?

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In the icy unit.

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And that's the day I was declared a walking, living miracle.

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So.

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What?

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Sure. How to ask this, but.

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Did you die?

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I may have.

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Because I don't remember the car accident.

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The only thing I remember, and I see this all the time.

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Is a gas station or Olive Garden?

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Then there's the Rockville outlets.

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The car accident, I mean the best comparison I could say is like you're being on a networking event or a party or a baby shower or even a gender reveal.

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You're there. You experience it, and you remember it.

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It comes in my car accident.

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I was there, I experienced it, but.

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I don't remember anything.

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I didn't see no cops, no ambulance, no fire department, no heavy traffic backed up. Wake up during the ambulance ride.

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I just don't have a clue.

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Something that's hidden.

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I don't think that's too uncommon. My son got in an accident. He he rolled his truck and he.

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Fortunately, went into the mountain rather than off the side of the mountain and and he didn't remember he. To this day it's been several years. He doesn't remember anything that happens. He he didn't know if he was in the truck when he was found or out.

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Of the truck.

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And he when I.

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He was life flighted because he was way out in the middle of nowhere. He was life flighted to a hospital and we went to the hospital. My other son took me up there because it was late at night and.

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We were asking him questions about it and he he just didn't know. He had no idea what happened to him. He he was. He was almost like, not even sure.

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How we got into the hospital?

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It's it's, it's.

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So weird how you can go through those those kinds of experiences and you know that it happened to you, but you end up.

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It's like.

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Time just disappeared for that period of time.

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Yeah, it just happened. It's just.

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You know, when I drive by the car accident seeing.

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I'm gonna get some chills, but.

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I had the only way for me to.

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Remember.

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Is looking at a newspaper article where a car is cut in half.

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Cut more half than a grilled cheese sandwich.

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And just to see the wreckage.

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And then look at the television footage like, whoa.

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This is the ambulances, the fire department. It's the police. And this is all the traffic that's backed up.

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And I'm like, that's what happened.

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And like in the beginning, just brought a chill to me like whoa.

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That's what I overcame.

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And I still got rehab to do.

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Were you, were you incapacitated and?

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How to ask that?

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What do you mean, incapacitated?

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Did you? Did you lose your limbs? Did you? Were you unable to walk? Was it just a, A and I'd say just a, but was it a brain injury was.

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It.

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Yeah, I had a concussion.

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I didn't lose any of my.

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Limbs.

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That's fortunate.

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It's just it was a high risk surgery.

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I was sensitive to light. I couldn't eat or drink anything by mouth for several months while being on a feeding tube.

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I was just thin as a pen.

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And.

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Just wondering like, what's gonna happen. But there's people keeping me in their prayers.

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Coming up to the hospital, the rehab.

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At home doing psalms.

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They saw a buyer future than my present adversity.

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How old were you when this happened?

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Loss.

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Early 20s.

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Early 20s.

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So.

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What? What were you doing? Were you working at Arby's still, or were you? Did you have a different?

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No, I quit that job.

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Maybe.

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Two to three months later, kind of find a better job at Ruby Tuesday, which has been closer to my home.

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But, but we're not changing. My life was just.

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Realizing that there's a lot of people that believe I can overcome being on a feeding tube, this concussion.

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And just being skinny and it took several months of just.

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Patience.

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That is virtue.

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To the point where.

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I cut my mind. I could. I could hide on things other than what I was experiencing and suffering.

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And then one day I passed my.

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Eating tests, feeding tests.

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I was probably able to eat again.

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And then finally, they took the feeding tube out of me. Then I started eating hard foods, soft foods.

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People started taking me out to eat and all I saw was just the beautiful waitresses. But I never saw the check.

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And then eventually.

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Later down the road and I'll get my drivers license start working again and went to Community College.

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What are your goals with the Community College?

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Ohh at the time it was just to get in because that's what that was original planned before the car accident.

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But unfortunately the car hasn't caused a delay.

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Hmm.

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And.

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Eventually, after going to Community College for some time.

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One day I'm inside the academics office and the lady tells me with a big smile on her face and she looks at my degree. Or she says I have more than enough credits to transfer but also apply for graduation.

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And I went like this yesterday.

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Don't.

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Make yourself.

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It was great. Tell him. Sure. I'll stand. Stand another semester or leave. And it just makes sense to leave while I'm out out on top.

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And eventually.

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I remember like it was yesterday. I was working at this factory warehouse.

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For the holidays, does it stay active?

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And then eventually I drove from Everett to Pennsylvania to Hershey, PA, to the Giants Center for my.

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Commencement ceremony. I made it 25 or 20 minutes before it started.

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And my cat go.

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Maybe a tassel or two?

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And I saw a lot of people I recognize from college, some people from the community of Lancaster.

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And it just felt great to just hear my name proud, saying proud in a in a positive light. Pictures were taken. Video footage.

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And then afterwards we went out to eat. And then.

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The next day I went back to work and then and eventually I got approved to go to, transferred to Mills University.

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And I'm relentless, Jesse. I met Doctor Teresa Russell Loretz, who was the head Department of communication in theater.

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She told my classes for me and on the classes undertaking business with a friend of mine.

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I'll say her name is Mrs. Miss Garcia.

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And from there I just took class after class with the class and.

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Eventually end up.

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Passing on my classes in the midst of COVID-19.

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I remember day like it was yesterday where I go into the math class. Normally everybody's talking among themselves.

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With this death he I see people.

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Had their eyes on their phones.

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And it turns out.

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Military University, along with other colleges around the world, shutting down.

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And that's where all the classes were done online.

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And I was still to pass my classes that semester. That was spring 2000, 2020 follow semester to another math class. Did an internship at a local television station.

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And people trusted me, which is there are certain proximity.

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And eventually I crossed the finish line where I graduated from Mills University. I had my own celebration privately and spring 2021.

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I finally had a commencement ceremony where I was featured on WGAL.

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And likes your newspaper.

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Or graduating.

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Yeah.

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Very cool. What did? What did you get your degree in?

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Bachelors of Science speech communication, monitor broadcasting and media.

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So now you're you're working as a life coach.

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And a speaker.

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Yes.

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What do you what do you do with the life coaching part of it? How? How do you help people?

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It depends on the client. Like for example, somebody might want to understand.

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How can I overcome the adversity of missing not having a relationship?

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With my dad.

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And.

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Those situations can vary.

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Like for example, some fathers are strange.

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Some fathers are incarcerated. Some may have died.

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Or.

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Some might be in the military and was gone for long periods of time.

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Or it could be a situation where a woman is not allowing her child to have a bunch of relationship with the man because he's already moved on to somebody else and he's not putting up with someones drama.

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And you know, it's just best to listen to what's being said instead of just thinking it's and everything's a one stop shop.

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And then from there it's just a matter of making goals, creating a timeline. And you know, I do accept, you know.

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Payments for my Sears inquiries.

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And just take it once one client at a time because.

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I don't want to do groups or I just do it on individual levels.

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MHM.

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And then eventually, you know if someone wants to go even further, I can refer them to somebody.

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Else.

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Who might be able to take it to the next level for them who has experience of being a father?

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Who? You know unfortunately made the wrong choices.

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With not being there and being present for their child, will also explain the journey of what they did. They come back from it because they wanted it bad enough.

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Change their ways.

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Did you ever meet?

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In every.

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Good.

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I have I I know who he is.

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It's just a situation where you know.

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There was some drugs involved. Alcoholism.

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But other than that, you know him and my mom.

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You.

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Know weren't together together. He was already with another woman prior to, you know, up to meeting. It just so happens he got another woman while being with somebody else and eventually catches up with a person when someone decides to not make healthy choices. And that includes the women as well.

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You know, I'll just say.

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You know, some women want to be moms before they want to.

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Be a wife.

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Some people want to be a wife before they.

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Have a college degree or a trade?

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And you know, sometimes it's the women choosing these men that are.

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May not be ready to settle down.

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And also go back to the relationship they have with their father or uncle.

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Because I realize some of the stuff that people go through is, you know, some people think a person can read somebody's mind.

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Everyone wants to reason about these minds.

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You got meet a meet a person where they are and eventually you have to be willing to understand that it's good for men to do the vetting.

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Process.

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Because most men know when they have a conversation with another man or teenager or this person's good company or not.

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And eventually.

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You get the approval or you don't get approval.

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But that's just like we're moving forward. My situation was just learning how to go from victim to victory and understanding that I can't make somebody do right by me.

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But I can make a better version of myself.

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And you know it. It took some time to understand that.

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This isn't my fault. There's some things that were going on in our out of my control.

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I never had the conversations.

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With my mom, I had a partial conversation last year with my dad where, you know?

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As he read my book, he or found out about my book and people told him, hey, I'm talk about the relationship. It's like the unspoken truth. He never took the time to listen to.

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And you know, it's like, for example, I'm allergic to dairy foods.

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But he never knew I was allergic to it. At the same time, since him, my mom were Co Co parenting on the best of terms. She didn't tell him.

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And that causes a miscommunication where my mom knows I am allergic to this. While he doesn't. And then by the time he.

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Does know?

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It's not too late.

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But moving forward, you know.

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I learned in life I learned to other people's stories that you can still succeed in life and live your life without your biological father or someone still present or not.

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This is the matter of just not being the victim all the time. You.

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Gotta become a victor.

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Or else you start victimizing other people.

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And the same thing else done to you.

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You know, doing it to other people and then pushing them away to the point where.

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People not answering the phone calls your direct messages your emails.

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It's kind of like the show called.

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It's on A&E.

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Oh, intervention.

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Where?

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You know, if a person is, you know, caught up in their addictions or prop.

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Comes.

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Eventually, there's a heart to heart talk with all the people involved and give an ultimatum. Get the help of this rehab facility or.

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We're going to distance ourselves from you and not enable you no more.

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And at at at that time, it's up to the individual or as a male or female or any, you know, gender. They choose to want to become a better version of ourselves or pay the costs of being estranged from people.

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Yeah, usually people don't change unless they want to.

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That's been my experience.

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You can you can give them ultimatums, but if they really cared, they wouldn't be in that situation to begin with.

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Well, it's just a situation where.

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It's just a situation where some people just don't take the time to address their online pain, whether it's spiritual.

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Physical, mental or a.

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Past tense memory or or press memory or something they didn't like get words of affirmation on.

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Because I realized, like the, the psychological damages is just, you know, some people turn to certain things to enable themselves.

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And.

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You know, some people like to numb things, but after the number's over, it's still.

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There.

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Yeah, it.

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It definitely.

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I guess every what I'm trying to say is everybody has.

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The right to live their life, however they're going.

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To live it.

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In my opinion.

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And sometimes the way they choose to live it.

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Doesn't really meet the needs of those that they're around, which includes children and parents.

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And as human beings, we have the right to remove ourselves from those situations.

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And I would suggest that most parents are still children in a lot of ways themselves. When somebody is in their 20s, they're not done yet.

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Most men don't really mature until they're about 26 or 27.

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And they're having children because biologically that's when we're designed to have children.

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And.

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I had. I had parents too. My parents had their.

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Their challenges?

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And my kids have had their challenges with me at different stages in my life. I had kids in my 20s, I had kids in my 40s.

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And.

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The the way that those children were raised.

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Was different because I was in a different place at different times.

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And.

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It happens with everybody. Nobody gets through childhood without trauma of some sort.

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My parents were young when they had me.

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Too, and they.

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They did things that I wish they didn't do to me.

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It just happened.

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I'm not so.

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Sure that I didn't pick them to happen.

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To go through the experience and to be able to share that experience with others.

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If you didn't have the parent that you had the father and the mother that you had, you wouldn't be in the place that you're in right now. Your story would be different.

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Ever considered how that would have affected your your life at this point?

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I mean, I thought about it several times like.

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For example, I'm thinking you know I used to think ohh things would be much different. I live my dad, but I realized but I saw my other siblings living with him.

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Sure, they have more food, clothing.

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You know, financial game, but nobody was happy.

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Right.

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And then I look at my situation with my mom. It's like.

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OK, there's not as much food as not as enough money, but I learned how to stretch, make things stretch.

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But I'm still able to see my childhood friends in the neighborhood. I'm still able to over at high Nobles House my grandma's house.

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It's just more freedom to just go do what I want.

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To a certain degree.

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But eventually, you know, it's something I I wish should have changed. Like I could have want to.

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Maybe the Milton Hershey School, where I could have had all my.

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Financial and other things taken care of.

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I probably would have been a more human version of myself as a teenager than coming into my adult years.

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But then the cost of it is basically gonna hurt on Hershey School is not being around the people who are the root of it.

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But when I do come back, but when I realize that when a person does come back from the middle of Hershey school back home, the problems are still there.

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It's just the people who are responsible for it don't want to take responsibility for it.

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Then also realize like why are all these people here in legacy? I was related to you may I was better off living with them. I could have done.

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My being a student athlete.

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I probably want the couch shooting and everything else.

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And.

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There's also, you know, learning things much sooner than later.

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And you know, those are some things I do think about, but also think about if I was staying in Coatesville.

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A proud and part of a great sports legacy there for football and track competing in Penn Relays at the gold medals Chesmont championships.

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Uh Foster realized you know, Lancaster and Coatesville is two different cities.

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Uh, the biggest difference is just. It's more.

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In legacy, it's more of.

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A lot of entrepreneurship out here is a television station is a newspaper place.

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And then there's multiple school districts outside the city that come in close to the boundary lines.

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But a legacy, it's more a community based law nonprofits.

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Mom and pop shops that are still around my family that I know there.

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Even when things you know change with the steel mill.

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It's still becoming revitalized in a positive sense.

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And you know, there are. They are surrounded by multiple different school districts.

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The problem is, you know, half their school budget is cut in half by Avago charter and Collegiate charter. You know, charter schools go get you know.

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Money from a certain students home school area that they live from.

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And you know, some parents, some some people want, you know, they say better opportunities.

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This.

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For their child or children, but ultimately it just comes down to it's just.

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Some people just want different or experience different.

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I still travel back and forth to both those locations and good faith, so I still know a lot of people in both locations.

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But moving forward, you know, I realize you know it is what it is.

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I learned a lot of lessons on.

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What choices to make, right?

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And what choices not to do wrong because I don't want my future children to go through what I want to do.

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I wanna around allow them to become a better version of themselves.

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And also become a better version of.

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You know, making sure they are taken care of in certain areas where I may not.

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Been taken care of.

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Makes total sense. So how can people get in touch with you if?

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They want to work with you.

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And how can I find your book?

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Well, here it is.

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Soft cover.

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I have a hard cover.

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I also have an ebook and audio version available on my major platforms, Amazon.

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Audible, Kobo, Google Audio Books, iTunes, Barnes and Noble.

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Walmart.

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And many other major platforms, the physical copy, the electronic copy, and of course the audio copy. Or if you're going to buy a book directly from me and I just mail it to you and you can pay me through the cash app, Venmo or PayPal.

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And if you trust me with your PO Box and all your.

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Mailing address and I'll just text you the.

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Tracking number that we both know where the book is going at all.

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Times.

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Again.

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I value my services as a keynote speaker in my books.

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Because I put my heart into it. I'm my own resources and I'm a business owner, keynote speaker.

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Entrepreneur life coach.

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And make an impact in people's lives. Our website isbeepingspeaks.com for serious increase. For speaking engagements, you just click on the consultation form, you fill it out. I review it. If it's a good fit.

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Hey, I'm ready to schedule that 5 to 15 minute consultation. I have a contract ready. I do require a security deposit to reserve that date.

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You know, it's just a standard procedure I learned.

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And the best is you have to come because there's still more room for me to grow in.

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I look forward to just continue to evolve.

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I look forward to you continue to make impact in people's lives.

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Awesome. So what's the one thing you hope the audience takes away from this conversation today?

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That you can turn your adversities into your advantage.

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You know, for example, I had a near death experience.

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I could have gave up at any given time. I could have threw in the towel.

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I could have, you know, not step outside my comfort zone when people were coming up to me at the workplace saying, is this you from the car accident? So they researched me.

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I could just say I I'm not ready to talk about this. I'm not ready to confirm or deny whether it's me or not.

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And eventually, you know, life has a way of pushing you outside your comfort zone for success.

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Because there is beauty in the struggle.

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Hi.

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And you know, a person can receive beauty for their ashes, beauty for their struggles.

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And for me, I could say mental health is wealth.

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Because you have to be willing to communicate about things, whether it's verbally text, electronically.

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Through Braille or sign languages?

::

Or any form of communication because we have to be able to let go of certain things and continue to evolve because we don't, we want to be stagnant in one place.

::

There's that I want you to get out of it. And I also want you to get out of it that.

::

You're not alone in what you endure, because most of the things that we experience in life.

::

As previous generations that have already experienced it and overcame it, or those who decide to not outlast it.

::

But moving forward, my social media handles on.

::

TikTok, Snapchat and Instagram is Ethan poetic 23.

::

On Facebook.

::

LinkedIn in my YouTube channel. I'm just Ethan poetic. Then I'm my Twitter. I am Ethan V 23 and again my website isethanspeaks.com.

::

Where you get to see a lot of news articles.

::

Television interviews.

::

Purchase the book for me directly by sending me an e-mail or click on the link for the audio version of the book.

::

Or the physical or soft coffee or electronic version.

::

But either way, you know the purpose of this book was to inspire people to.

::

Understand that life.

::

Can be turned around from the most tragic situations to become triumphant.

::

Indeed. Thank you so much for joining us, Ethan.

::

Thank you. I appreciate your time and this opportunity.

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About the Podcast

The You World Order Showcase Podcast
changing the world with one coach at a time.
Featuring life, health & transformation coaches being the change they want to see in the world! Listen in as they share what they are doing to make the world a better, kinder and more sustainable place for us all as they navigate the journey between coach and entrepreneur. And share their expertise to make your life better in the process.

Jill Hart - The Coach's Alchemist &
Host, You World Order Showcase Podcast
Contact: https://hartlifecoach.com
Join our community: https://facebook.com/groups/theyouworldorder
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About your host

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Jill Hart

The Coach's Alchemist & host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast is dedicated to empowering life, health and transformational coaches being the change they want to see in the world. Join our private community, where you will find support, networking & collaboration, get featured on our podcast and we also provide coaching to help you find clients with podcasts. It all starts with joining our community! (it's free)
👉https://facebook.com/groups/theyouworldorder