Embracing Life After 40 - The Best is Yet to Come
Kris Kendall, life & business coach & host of Fulfilled After 40 podcast joins us to discuss discovering and pursuing your passion after 40 - that important juncture in a woman's life where she is free to reinvent herself.
Learn more about Kris at: https://www.fulfilledafter40.com
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Transcript
Hi and welcome to the New World Order Showcase podcast. Today we have with us Kris Kendall. Kris is certified life coach and a podcast host of fulfilled after 40 which is.
::Really enticing title.
::At least to me.
::I'm sure it is to everybody else asking the question how are you living your best life right now? Welcome to the show, Chris. It's really great to have you here. So tell us your story.
::Thank you.
::Yeah. Thank you. So you know, I like many of us like you said by the time that I got, you know, my early 40s, I started to notice that myself and my friends were at this like stage of what's next, right? Maybe we we weren't as happy in our jobs. Our kids were growing up more independent. They didn't really need.
::Us our our social systems kind of started to change and I I had a lot of like activities and things going on. But but I I noticed a lot of my friends didn't. They were kind of like lost and not really sure how to.
::You know, to take care of themselves, how to put themselves first. They've never done that. They've never prioritized any of their own dreams, and they really just.
::Didn't know what was next. And so that's when I realized I could help them kind of seek that fulfillment and like, recognize what it is and like, go for it. You know, actually do the things that they've always wanted to do, but always back burner because of family, friends, career, etcetera.
::Yeah, it's really a pivotal point in your life and your kids are kind of not needing you so much anymore. And your husband's his careers. If you're married, his careers established and you're you're comfortable, but you don't really have a role anymore. Just like who am I?
::Yeah, it really changes. You know, I think.
::There are so many of us were sort of like, well, now. Now what, like? Yeah, who am I? And and the the really good thing is that for many of us, we now have some time. We have a little bit of money. We have a little bit of freedom, but we don't know what to do with it or how to like maximize it.
::Right and it.
::Your your other things about your life are changing. It's like the perfect moment when you turn 40 and when you turn like 60. Yeah, 60 is another big turning point. And it's like you're free to repaint new canvas. Why just, you know, get all the colors out. Let's throw them out there.
::And see what we come up with. Start over.
::Yeah, yeah, we like, we don't care about.
::You know our clothes as much. We don't care about our hair being perfect. We don't care about what people think when.
::We say something, you know loud or obnoxious or silly. Yeah, you just sort of start to lose those inhibitions, which is so freeing. And so, like, I can do anything like I really can do anything now.
::Yeah, it it is. Freeing is like.
::It's the perfect word for it. You're just you've reached a point where.
::You can explore different options if you had dreams that you kind of put on the back burner and thought ohh no, that'll never happen. I yeah, it can happen. Yeah. And there are people like you out there that can show them how to make it happen. Yeah.
::It's not too late. It's never too late.
::It's never too late and it's not that hard. Even if you, you know, I I deal with people that are a little bit older because I am older. But you know, and tech might be challenging and even people in their.
::40s and 50s tech can be challenging, but it doesn't have to be like so overwhelming that it stops you because there's, like I said, there's people like you out there that can help them.
::Figure it out. So how do you help them with that?
::Yeah. So for most of my clients, the first step is just.
::You know, kind of identifying what, what did you like, what were, what were some of the?
::The fun things that you used to do when you did fun things, right? Like I. I had lunch actually this morning or coffee this morning with a friend and she.
::Just saying, she's getting close to retirement and she's like, I don't even know what I'm going to do. Like, what will I do, like literally? What will I do all day? I I don't even know. And so it's kind of that when, you know, before when you were in high school, when you were in college, what did you did you like to paint? Did you like to do pottery? Did you play?
::Sports, you know, maybe we're not playing the same kind of sports that we used to, but what? What about the sport? Did you like? Did you like having that weekly appointment with friends is.
::Is there a hobby that you put to the back burner that you've forgotten about? Do you love to read? Have you always wanted to write poetry? You know, like there's so many things that we, you know, if we really stop and think about what?
::Do we enjoy?
::Bringing that forward and kind of making that a priority again, I mean, so for some people, it might be they, they love cooking and they love cooking for their family, but now they don't have a big family to cook for, so they don't cook. It's like, OK, well, how can you use that?
::And and still find joy and happiness. And maybe you cook for a food kitchen, for a church, for for your friends. You know, like for other people's families. Like, there are so many ways that you can still get that rewarding feeling. Yes. Yeah, exactly.
::Maybe you start a catering business, you know.
::So many options.
::Yeah. So, yes, yeah. So just really identifying like what do you enjoy doing, what are you good at? What would you like to spend one hour a day, five hours a day doing, you know, we we do have a good 1216 hours every single day to fill.
::And if we?
::If we aren't doing it all at a job or we aren't doing it primarily for other people.
::How do we want to spend that time?
::And it's.
::It can seem scary. The idea of of looking at that. It's like all those hours to fill. But yeah, once you start down the path.
::24 is not enough, I need.
::More every day.
::For sure for sure.
::Things I want to do.
::Yeah, you just once you start towards what you want to do, what you discover, what it is that just really lights you up, what your mission is, what you're what you were sent here to do because you know, a lot of us had kids and got married, and we did the all the things we're supposed to do and.
::Had careers and and then.
::We reached that point where it's just like well.
::Now we have to be somebody different because.
::That jobs gone.
::Yeah, right. Like and you don't want to to, like, be constantly burdening your kids, right? Like checking in all day long. Come have lunch with me or, you know, tell me about every single thing you've done today because they have lives too, and you want them to have those life. So it's it's.
::Really, the time not only for the people around you, but for for yourself.
::Like what makes me happy? How can I?
::Be my own source of fulfillment and joy. I don't rely on other people anymore. Even your spouse. You know when when people retire and they're both home together and they're just kind of like.
::You know, stuck with each other, and they have to entertain each other. That could be very stressful on a relationship as well. And so I just think it's so important to have your own things that that you care about. Nobody else has to care about and you care about. You love doing it. You want to do it and then prioritizing it, making it happen.
::And I can tell you as a person who.
::Is in their 60s and does have a husband who is retired.
::If you don't know what you're doing when you're in your 40s, if you haven't figured out who you are and what you love, and you don't have, and you have a, you need a routine, you need to know what what you're doing and what you want to do, and it needs to be separate from your husband. Because when he comes home, he's going to be lost.
::It happens every time and unless one of you is stable, it's gonna really hurt your relationship. I see so many people that you know, the husband retires and the wife is like ohh crap. Now what do I do? You're you're here all the time.
::Name and and they don't have like their own their own thing, so they can't really show their husbands how to to go and have a life of their own too. And then they end up sitting there watching television all day long.
::And that's, you know.
::Yes, for sure. Yeah, right. Exactly at that point, you are just waiting for something else to happen and and things don't just happen. You have to go make them happen. You have.
::Just waiting for the dirt to get shuffled.
::Top of you.
::Your you know your life's over.
::Seek out those opportunities and then embrace.
::You know when you get invited to go on a cruise with friends or when you get invited to visit family members, you have to say yes, you have to like.
::Step out of that comfort zone zone and do it because I think so many times.
::When we are doing the thing we might be like, Oh my God, this is awkward or, you know, whatever. But then at the end of it, we're like, I'm so glad I did this. I'm so glad I I took that chance. And I, you know, made the drive. I didn't want to leave the house this morning, but I'm glad I showed up because at the end, you just feel so good and so happy.
::Having done something you.
::You know memorable. So yeah.
::Yeah, and and it doesn't even really matter what it is, but if you're.
::If you're thinking that you want to do something productive and make money at it, then you really do need to hire somebody who's who, knows what steps you need to take. Otherwise you're just.
::Trust me, you'll end up spending the money anyway.
::In time and headaches in therapy sessions in a million, you know unnecessary products and yeah, for sure. Yeah. Once you decide what you know or you kind of remember what that goal is, what you love.
::Doing it what you want to.
::Do just kind of looking for the most direct way to get there so I do business coaching and with a lot of my clients it takes them a while to sort of.
::Figure out this is the business I want to start. I've always wanted to write books. I've always wanted to make jewelry and sell it on Etsy. Or I've always wanted to.
::You know, do interior design and when they finally are ready to do it, they're ready. They're like, all in, let's do this because we're not getting any younger, you know, every day is a one more day lost. And so, you know, wait waiting for.
::Next summer, next year, end of the year, beginning of whatever. Like it's just never going to happen. So, you know, really trying to not only identify what you want to do, but then then putting in a plan to do it and to make it happen and to, like, set goals of like this week, I'm going to.
::To do this piece of it the next week, I'm going to do this piece by the end of the month, I'm going to.
::This action done this website app I'm going to have met with my coach. I'm going to have sat down with with a person for, you know, some real business planning, whatever it is because yeah. Otherwise you could spend months or years just floundering and never, never make it off the first stage.
::My biggest suggestion is think about.
::Plan the end.
::In the beginning, the first thing you need to know is when will you know you've arrived.
::That's, and then what you're going to do when you've arrived and work backwards from there? And if you're thinking that you're going to start a jewelry business on Etsy and make $1,000,000?
::Then you know start at the $1,000,000 and figure out just how many of those little pieces of jewelry you need to actually make to profit to make $1,000,000 I.
::That that will that will deter you from thinking that you're going to make $1,000,000 when you're selling $10 widgets.
::A lot of earrings.
::Yeah. Yeah. And I mean, it's OK if you don't want to make a million. You know, not everybody does. Some people just want 500 a month extra of, like, play money, you know? And that's fine. Yeah.
::You just have to sell some nanny.
::And if and that's, you know, having knowing what your end goal is allows you to make a determination on what it is that you're doing. So if your end goal is to only make 500 extra dollars a month, then you know.
::A little part time business making something that's not really expensive. But you know it's priced reasonably well so that you can sell it and.
::Will compensate you for the time that's involved in it. Then that makes a lot of a lot more sense, but it's it's matching up with your end result that you're looking to achieve, and you know some people just want something to do. And if that's the case, then maybe you're not really starting a business.
::Maybe you're having a hobby and hobbies are perfectly fine things.
::And you know, you could call it a business for a couple of years, and the IRS is good with that.
::Yeah, make a lot of money. Yeah, exactly, exactly.
::Write it off.
::Yeah. I mean, I think it's just whatever, whatever it is that drives you to want to wake up every day. Wanna get dressed every day, wanna do something and help someone or, you know, whatever is going to bring you joy.
::You know, identifying it I think is one of the hardest pieces and then going for it, you know, putting yourself 1st and saying I'm willing to spend a little bit of money to buy all the the beads and and whatever is needed to make this jewelry or I'm, I'm willing to hire a coach in order to get me to that next step.
::I'm willing to take these classes in order to learn how to.
::Be an accountant. Because I've always wanted to be an accountant. You know, whatever. The thing is that that drives them, you know, just sometimes people just need permission to do it right. Like their spouse is not going to tell them. It's a good idea. Their kids are going to tell them that's ridiculous. And don't spend our inheritance on going back to school or getting a certification or.
::Whoever it is, so they just need someone to tell them yes, you are important enough. You are allowed to do the things you want to do. You have permission to put yourself 1st and do the thing.
::And and that's really what they need, because not everybody has that in their, like real life network unfortunately.
::Yeah, and women, especially in in their 40s. It's like they're so used to having to get permission to do anything that the idea of just giving yourself permission.
::Just do it.
::Yeah, and it it takes.
::Go ahead.
::It's it's hard to get to that, right? Not everybody can can get there.
::And and that's where people like you come in. Do you? Do you just do one-on-one coaching or do you do group coaching?
::I do occasional group coaching. It's usually one-on-one, though, only because everybody's so different. They're like, you know, most of my clients are at very different stages. Some of them are.
::Just thinking about it, and they don't really believe that they're smart enough or whatever to actually start a business. Other people have a a, a pretty good business. Maybe they're making a few thousand every month and they just want to double that. They want to expand where they're at and then they're, they're the clients who want to make a million, like they're doing well, but they want it. They want to go big.
::And so we're just kind of all unfocused on that. So they all have different needs. So I tend to do one-on-one.
::Most often, but grouped great because you get to hear what other you know, everybody else's challenges. It's not just about like, I'm tired of talking about all my problems. When you hear that other people are in the same position, they're having the same fears whether they're making zero or a million, they probably have the same thoughts.
::That that you do wherever you're at and so that can be very reassuring to know that.
::It's it's not just me. I'm not the only person and and other people have felt this way. They've been here and they've gone past it and they've been able to be successful.
::In spite of this fear or insecurity.
::I think sometimes in groups you you also see other.
::Other people, not Even so much struggling with things, but they have questions and ideas and thoughts that you're just like, oh, wow, I never really looked at it that way. And it allows you to expand your thinking and expand your your business opportunities.
::Yep, for sure for sure.
::So you have a unit.
::Concept for for coaching people that you were telling before we got on here.
::Once you share that with the audience, because I think that's fantastic.
::Yeah. So when I first.
::You know, started my practice. I wanted to like kind of get some content out there. You know, it's all content, right, and get some tick tocks and things like that. But I I didn't really want to just like.
::Jump on and talk randomly about things, so I decided to invite clients to have a free coaching session on my podcast. So my podcast fulfilled after 40. The podcast is what it's called is all live coaching sessions and so it's real people that in most cases.
::I've never met them before. A few of them I've met a few times. They were either past clients or or friends that I know personally, but most of them are brand new people and they they bring their their challenges to me. Their what they're at with their business.
::You know their life, whatever cause I do, life coaching and business coaching and and we just spend 304050 minutes going through their their full coaching session on the podcast. So it's kind of fun and I think it's a great opportunity for people who are thinking about hiring a coach.
::And not really sure like is it going to be helpful? Am I going to learn anything to to listen to those episodes or watch it? I I do video as well so they can watch an episode and see.
::You know, kind of what what that might look like for them and not only might they get ideas for their own business and their own transformation and and where they're at, but also.
::To, you know, get an idea of if if they were to bring their their current situation to a coach, how those sessions might go. So it's been really fun. I love doing them at the end of every episode, you know.
::Everyone's usually very happy and very excited, and they've got a list of things that they're ready to go do next. And so it's really exciting to to be a part of that and to be able to share that with so many people.
::It's really a service to the world too, because as you help people step into their superpower and it's really what it's all about, you you impact those that are around them and you make.
::Just the ripple effect just really makes the whole world better it I it's what excites me about working with coaches is it's like.
::You guys, you guys got it going on.
::Everybody does something so unique, yeah.
::Yeah. So you are also telling me that you fly to peoples homes and you help them hold their hand so.
::Yes. Yeah. So this is this is something I just started offering in the fall and it's been so amazing. So I call it a two day intensive and essential.
::How does that look?
::The clients usually are at a pretty early stage in their business, so either they're just thinking about starting or they have just started and they don't really know how to get clients, how to start getting their products out there, how to build their website like whatever, whatever they're doing. And so I will fly to any city in the US.
::UM.
::And and spend 2 days, so it's usually from like 10:00 in the morning till about 7 in the evening. And we do meals together and everything and usually it's in a hotel. So I'll be in the hotel and then they either stay in the hotel with me or they'll, you know, come in but not not with, with, with, with me, with me but.
::Yeah, in her room, also in the hotel.
::You know.
::It's not that intimate, but yeah.
::So, so yeah, we just spent two days together and and pound through everything like so for one client she needed help with her accounting system. So like, she didn't know how to do anything money related. So we literally just built out a full QuickBooks setup. We went through all of our receipts and that took.
::You know most of two days for other people. It's like I need messaging. I don't have my offer or I've got lots of offers. I want to narrow them down or I need help with the website. I've been meaning to do a website. I don't know what to do. I don't know what to put there.
::There and we just sit there and we'll build a whole website, you know, like whatever they need because what I found is that it's one thing to, like, have a 4050 hour long conversation with the person and they they make a list of like, oh, I'm going to do that. That's good. I'm going to do that. I'm going to do that. But then actually, you know, the next day when they're looking at their list of.
::Like, I don't even know what that means. I don't know where to start and you know it can still be really hard to just do it. And so these two days and two day intensives have been really great to like just get from like point A to point J, you know, like we just skipped months of of work and thinking and worrying and stress and.
::Edits and stuff and just jump right in and and they leave at the end of those two days with like a lot of stuff done. And they are. They're in business at that point. So it's been really fun. And I love traveling and I love having the excuse to.
::To be in new cities and go to new places and they always tell the clients like it doesn't have to be your city. Like you pick your favorite city in the country and you go there and I'll go there and we'll just work for a couple of days. You won't be tempted to drive home to feed your kids dinner or hang out with your husband. We're just going to, like, be alone and do this thing for a couple days. So it's been really great.
::It's kind of like a retreat, but it.
::It's it's like a.
::Personal retreat. Exactly one-on-one. You tell me where to.
::Concierge retreats. Love it.
::Be. Yeah, yeah. And we do fun stuff too. Like, we will take breaks. We can, we can fit in a small appointment or, you know, a few little things here and there.
::But we get a lot done in two days.
::That sounds.
::That's an amazing.
::Again, opportunities everywhere. There are a lot of people who are business coaches, but this is the first time I've talked to somebody who really just goes and holds your hand for two.
::Days in whatever city I I love this. I love this a lot.
::Ohh, good. Good. Yeah. Oh, I'm happy to hear that. Well, and I'll tell you. So I I will offer your listeners a discount if you go to my website filledafter40.com, you'll see the intensive the full price. But if you go to thefieldafter40.com/intensive you'll see the discounted price.
::And you'll get $2000 off.
::The the full price. And so you know, if anyone's interested in booking, I'm booking out through from April through summer right now. So yeah, it would be, it's a lot of fun.
::It sounds like it it sounds like it so.
::I'll make sure that I do put that on the on in the show notes also.
::If they want to, if they want to join your podcast for the free coaching session, they can do that on your website as well. You want to walk them through the steps for doing that.
::Yeah, if you just go to fulfilledafter40.com the web, you know on to the website, up in the corner, there's a button that says the podcast. If you click that and Scroll down the page, you'll see an A become a guest. A button that says like be on the show or something like that. And so that's the form to fill out. And then once you fill it out.
::We'll connect and we'll get you scheduled and you'll have your your free session. So it's a lot of fun.
::It sounds like it sounds like a lot of fun. So what's the one thing that you hope the audience takes away from this conversation today, Chris?
::Well, I just really want everyone to.
::Acknowledge that.
::They are not done yet. You know. You still have so much living to do and whatever that looks like for you. So, you know, really think about the things that bring you joy. And if you're not doing them now, what can you start doing? Can you can you start incorporating some of that into your life? And if it, it might look a little different than it might.
::You know, than it could have twenty 30-40 years ago.
::But that doesn't mean you can't still find happiness and joy in in those kinds of things. So, you know, I encourage you to to look within yourself, find find those things that you're missing and put in a an honest effort to bring them back into your life.
::For this next.
::Yeah. And if you're really just curious what that looks like?
::Go on Chris' show. Pick her brain, she'll help you.
::Yeah, I'll help you. I'll help you.
::Remember what you like to do.
::That's one of the fun things that we get to do, yeah.
::Awesome. Thanks for joining me. Chris, this has been great.
::Thank you so much, Jill. I really enjoyed it.
