I Don’t Need You to Love Me, I Need You To Love Yourself
Carin LaCount - Author & Self Love Coach who shifts ideas and perspectives around the notion of self-love typical of society's skewed understanding of it to that of a deep spiritual concept. she helps clients find their connection to self through their own personal spiritual beliefs, or help them discover them. Then she takes you for a deep dive into developing and managing awareness around thoughts and feelings. The program educates you on the concepts around our soul's age, the various challenges, fears, powers, desires, talents and paths of the soul that has driven the soul to chose the particular life you are in and how that leads to the soul's purpose. Lastly, how the purpose of the older soul is naturally geared toward altruism and making a difference in the world through conscious and consciences work.
Carin has a unique perspective on self-love that she shares. We also discuss what it means to be an old soul and how that impacts the world as a whole.
The Love Liar: a Memoir of Codependency, Narcissism and The Pursuit Of Self-Love
https://www.drcarinlacount.com/
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Transcript
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: Hi and welcome to the You World order showcase. Podcast I'm your host, Jill Hart. And with us today is Karen Lecount Karen is an author and self love coach, who shifts ideas and perspectives around the notion of self love typical of society's skewed understanding of it.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: that
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: to that of a deep spiritual concept. She helps clients find their connection to self through their own personal, spiritual beliefs, or helps helps them discover them.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: And then she takes you for a deep dive into developing and managing awareness around thoughts and feelings. The program educates you on the concepts around our soul's age, the various challenges, spheres, powers and desires, talents and paths of the soul that have driven the soul to choose the particular life you are in, and how that leads to the soul's purpose.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: and, lastly, how the purpose of the soul is naturally geared towards altruism, making a difference in the world through conscious and conscientious work. And it's the older soul
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: that we're talking about here.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: So welcome to the show, Karen.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: I'm really delighted to have you with us and to learn more about what you're what you mean by old souls and self love, because I think your perspective on self love is different than what
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: normally we're kind of conditioned to understand it as.
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::Carin LaCount: yeah, well, thank you very much for having me on the show, I'm, really excited to be here and yeah, the notion of self. Love typically is considered a self care practice. So when I talk to people about self love, they will
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::Carin LaCount: talk about how they're taking care of themselves, what they're doing, you see, on social media, they'll talk about
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::Carin LaCount: going, get their nails done and getting a massage. And you know, I just did self love today. And there's such a big difference between
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::Carin LaCount: what self care is and what self love is, because self love is connecting to that part of us. That is
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::Carin LaCount: the very foundation of our being which is
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::Carin LaCount: pure divine love.
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::Carin LaCount: and so
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::Carin LaCount: practicing self. Love is
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::Carin LaCount: a way deeper practice than the superficial declarations about how much we love ourselves, and and taking care of ourselves and taking care of our body.
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::Carin LaCount: Self love is
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::Carin LaCount: digging in deep and
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::Carin LaCount: becoming aware of the negative self-talk that we have.
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::Carin LaCount: and
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::Carin LaCount: aligning ourselves as often as we possibly can when we see that negative self talk with the love that's within us, and and
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::Carin LaCount: feeling that how much we deserve that love.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: The the actual feeling of being loved.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: I
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: source God, whatever you want to call it, but that supernatural
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: entity that
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: and exists within all of us.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: That we're we're taught to
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: look to at external sources
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: for that rather than to ourselves, as though
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: acknowledging that love is
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: somehow selfish.
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::Carin LaCount: yes. My my program goes into in the very 1st module, the concepts that are taught in a course in miracles around the idea of the ego, and why it is in particular that we do have this sense of.
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::Carin LaCount: We don't deserve this love. We feel shame and guilt, and so we push that love away. These are all barriers that we have constructed in our mind against the love within us, and
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::Carin LaCount: the more that we can become aware of that, and understand and have compassion for ourselves, for the ego part of us that is
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::Carin LaCount: steeped in these other emotions around, as I said, guilt and fear and judgment.
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::Carin LaCount: and align ourselves with the love, and really understand that we deserve that love so much so that it's not even that we deserve it, that it's what we are.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: Yeah.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: And that's
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: really the key to all of it is that
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: we are love.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: We are all connected, and we are all
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: part of the one.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: So it's not about deserving.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: It's just about being.
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::Carin LaCount: Yeah.
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::Carin LaCount: well, and I find it fascinating in that. The studies of quantum physics are really
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::Carin LaCount: diving into this even more and more. And so there is such a aversion to all that is woo, and this is considered woo. But in fact, it's actually science. There is
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::Carin LaCount: the the way the world is set up. We are the the matter that we see around us, the things that we can feel and touch. That's only point 0 0 0 0 1% of what is actually what we're made of. If you look at an atom, an atom is
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::Carin LaCount: mostly energy.
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::Carin LaCount: the particles within it is such a tiny little fraction of it. And that energy is this love.
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::Carin LaCount: It is what we are made of.
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::Carin LaCount: and that is
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::Carin LaCount: a really important distinction that I like to make in what I'm teaching, because I think once we can get over all the other
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::Carin LaCount: stuff that's going on in our head that our ego is driving.
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::Carin LaCount: We can understand more succinctly who we are and why that love is so important. And again, that's what the 1st module of my program is about. I just felt that it was so important to bring in the philosophy, of course, in miracles which is really pulling in the philosophy of the baseline of all religions.
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::Carin LaCount: This idea that we at our core are divine love. It is that is the image in which we are created, of our you know of our Creator. I forget what it says something about
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::Carin LaCount: we are created in the image of our
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::Carin LaCount: Creator, and that's what it is. It's this energy. It's this love.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: Yeah.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: And
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: how did you get to this point? Let's let's roll back just a little bit and hear your story, because your story is is a journey that so many people can relate to.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: and
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: I would be remiss if I didn't have you share it.
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::Carin LaCount: Yeah.
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::Carin LaCount: Well.
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::Carin LaCount: to go way back. I
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::Carin LaCount: feel as though well, I know that I am a an old soul and an and what an old soul means is someone who's been through many reincarnations. And
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::Carin LaCount: being an old soul, it's made me someone who's always, you know, questioning, really wanting to get the answers around. Why, we're here. You know what this whole world is about, why it, why we suffer!
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::Carin LaCount: And
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::Carin LaCount: at the age of 6 my mother died very suddenly. She had
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::Carin LaCount: asked me a few nights earlier, you know, what would you ever do if I died? It was, you know, this this
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::Carin LaCount: question of this
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::Carin LaCount: overwhelmed mother of 5 children who was just like.
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::Carin LaCount: so I'm asking her to do something again, and she's like, Well, what would you ever do if I died, and for me I took that very literally. I was. I didn't know a mother could die, and I was so fraught with questions that I couldn't even answer.
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::Carin LaCount: And so then, about a week later, when she tucks me into bed in the next morning.
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::Carin LaCount: my dad tells me she's in the hospital. She's had a brain aneurysm, and she's not going to survive.
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::Carin LaCount: And I
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::Carin LaCount: I took that on as being my fault. I didn't answer her question, and so
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::Carin LaCount: she was leaving me, and that along with my the way my dad parented and my stepmother, who came along a couple of years later, I developed some very deep people, pleasing tendencies.
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::Carin LaCount: and that set me up for the relationships that I had going forward in my adulthood and ended up marrying a man who
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::Carin LaCount: very insecure.
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::Carin LaCount: and
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::Carin LaCount: he.
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::Carin LaCount: you know I was a people pleaser, and he took advantage of that.
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::Carin LaCount: because narcissism is
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::Carin LaCount: really codependency and narcissism are the opposite sides of the same coin.
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::Carin LaCount: A deficiency in self-love.
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::Carin LaCount: And so my 27 years with him.
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::Carin LaCount: and the autoimmune condition that also plagued my life. Since marrying him I had ulcerative colitis. So I was in and out of the hospital, and
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::Carin LaCount: toward the end needing blood transfusions. And it it got to a point where I was in the hospital and
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::Carin LaCount: bled out to such a degree. I almost didn't survive.
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::Carin LaCount: And wow
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::Carin LaCount: in the hospital, or actually in the ambulance, because I was in the hospital, and that hospital couldn't manage my case anymore. They had to send me to another hospital 2 h away. So in that ambulance
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::Carin LaCount: I really
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::Carin LaCount: got honest with myself about why this was happening. Because I understood with all of the study that I've been doing.
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::Carin LaCount: that our health issues are always a byproduct of our emotional, our internal. And I kept trying to figure out what that was and figure out what that was. And by this point, actually, I had divorced my husband, I'd been divorced for him
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::Carin LaCount: for 2 years, and so when I divorced him, I thought I kicked that habit. I was going to be done with this
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::Carin LaCount: God. Awful disease! But it came back to me in such a vengeance that
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::Carin LaCount: I I was. I was fighting for my life, and so I had come to realize that even though I had divorced him, I was still caught up in codependent tendencies. I was still trying to get
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::Carin LaCount: validation from him and from everyone else around me, about what I'd been through, and whether I was doing things right, and I just had no love
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::Carin LaCount: for myself.
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::Carin LaCount: and
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::Carin LaCount: that's what had prompted me to write the book and really investigate this whole pursuit of self love. And I and I
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::Carin LaCount: I I want to back up a little bit because I want. I don't believe anybody is actually without self love, because it is who we are, so we can't be without what we are, but
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::Carin LaCount: really understanding that, and tapping into that love when we are in our darkest, lowest points, is
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::Carin LaCount: what self love is all about, and the more that we can use, that utilize, that in our actions, our decisions.
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::Carin LaCount: and align ourselves more with the love and less with the fear that is practicing self love that is going to change.
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::Carin LaCount: how your life turns out.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: I think you made a really interesting point there about self love versus fear, and so much of our lives are driven
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: by fear.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: fear of missing out fear of dying, fear of losing something that we
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: have it. It's
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: those are the 3 big fears.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: But yeah, everybody struggles with those.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: And instead of being able to just relax into
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: the moment.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: it's it's not like you shouldn't plan for the future
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: that
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: you shouldn't be so consumed about what the next moment is going to bring
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: without enjoying the present moment.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: And I think that's where the self love can kind of be.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: You can capture it. You can only capture it in the now.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: I guess that's what I'm trying to say versus.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: I'll be happy when
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: and I'll be happy when generally means
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: I will love myself. I will allow myself to experience love, when
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: whatever insert whatever criteria you feel that you need to insert in there.
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::Carin LaCount: Right. Well, I
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::Carin LaCount: always teach that in every single moment we have the choice to align our decisions with fear, or to align our decisions with love and having an awareness around that fact right there can get us through so many of the more awful moments. And
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::Carin LaCount: I've suffered pretty
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::Carin LaCount: intensely with depression. Off and on
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::Carin LaCount: and with depression often comes this feeling that I just don't want to be here anymore. I'm done with this. This is so hard, and
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::Carin LaCount: there's
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::Carin LaCount: suicidal ideations and their suicidal plans, which you know, I never really went so far as that. But I had
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::Carin LaCount: if you, if you wouldn't mind me reading a little section in my book. There was a time in my life where I was just so completely immersed in depression. I didn't know how I was going to get past it.
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::Carin LaCount: So I started the habit of taking a bath nearly every night. I'd soak in the tub for hours, sobbing and listening to an ever expanding spotify playlist that I'd created, which I called embrace my heart.
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::Carin LaCount: I collected songs that made me cry, made me smile made me feel the pain I'd buried for decades and made me feel strong
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::Carin LaCount: spotify, and the bubble baths were my security blanket.
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::Carin LaCount: I immersed myself in the tub and the music, and felt safe to embrace any damn emotion my heart brought to the surface.
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::Carin LaCount: It was comical to think of anyone spying on me, they would see a mad woman crying, then laughing, then dancing yes, while horizontal in the tub, and then outright, bawling uncontrollably in a 5 min time span over and over for hours, my fingers pickled, proving how much time I dedicated to processing my pain to loving myself and taming the beast.
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::Carin LaCount: I felt a thousand times lighter after those baths, as if I'd washed away several pounds of debris from my body.
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::Carin LaCount: But then, a few hours later, I'd feel the weight of more pain, which would rise from an infinite source of hell bubbling up from my soul.
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::Carin LaCount: Dying, became a lovely thought.
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::Carin LaCount: I fantasized about a fresh prescription of Ambien. I visualized myself, opening the cupboard in my bathroom, popping off the child proof cap and downing the entire bottle of the tiny white pills.
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::Carin LaCount: Then I'd sob as I pictured my kids lives at the mercy of their father. With me alive. He was a lousy parent. If I died he'd be an abomination.
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::Carin LaCount: He was only capable of thinking of himself.
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::Carin LaCount: The children would have no nurturing.
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::Carin LaCount: no unconditional love. If I were gone.
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::Carin LaCount: This wound is going to cancel me out
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::Carin LaCount: the lyrics of Singer Nathaniel Ratliff, and his song, still trying, came through my headphones. As I soaked in the tub.
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::Carin LaCount: It began to reverberate through my head, so I used it like a pickaxe to work out the thought deep in my mind.
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::Carin LaCount: I knew it was a dark and ugly thought, but my curiosity was piqued.
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::Carin LaCount: The thought was embedded in my solid intentions of keeping the depression at bay, but this particular verse drove me with blind determination to unbury it.
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::Carin LaCount: to my horror.
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::Carin LaCount: listening to the verse, finally let free the thought that came to my mind
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::Carin LaCount: ever wonder why a mother who commits suicide
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::Carin LaCount: takes her children with her.
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::Carin LaCount: It's not selfishness.
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::Carin LaCount: It's because she can't bear to leave them suffering in the world
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::Carin LaCount: without a mother.
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::Carin LaCount: Oh, my God!
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::Carin LaCount: My labors have unearthed the horror of horrors, and no mind wants to see.
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::Carin LaCount: Of course I would never, ever. But the thought showed me that the intensity of my depression was far worse than I'd imagined.
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::Carin LaCount: I had actually entertained the thought of ending it all.
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::Carin LaCount: I prayed for guidance. Dear heart, show me how to be here for them.
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::Carin LaCount: I hurt so bad I can physically feel the pain like a sharp dagger slowly pressed into my chest.
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::Carin LaCount: I can feel the piercing of my skin, the cracking of the bone, and the slow motion of the blade as it slices through my heart.
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::Carin LaCount: I'm always here.
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::Carin LaCount: I will always hold you, Hart replied.
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::Carin LaCount: Feel what you must.
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::Carin LaCount: and trust that I will never let it consume you.
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::Carin LaCount: At that moment I committed to trusting my heart to shifting my fantasy from committing suicide to becoming more deeply determined to survive.
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::Carin LaCount: I would see the 3 of us through this nightmare.
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::Carin LaCount: so that is.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: Powerful.
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::Carin LaCount: Yeah.
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::Carin LaCount: that is the definition of self love that I'm talking about, that we can tap into even into our lowest, darkest moments
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::Carin LaCount: and let go of any sort of idea that we're doing anything wrong, that we don't deserve, that love
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::Carin LaCount: that we are needing to be
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::Carin LaCount: doing any. You know we get in our head and tell ourselves that we need to do all these things before we can have anything good.
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::Carin LaCount: But this is just a demonstration of how
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::Carin LaCount: we can be in the most awful place in our mind.
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::Carin LaCount: and still have that place where we're loved.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: Wow!
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: So
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: why do you think society is confused about self love? What do you think drives that.
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::Carin LaCount: Well, it's again pointing to the 1st module of my course. It is the lack of
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::Carin LaCount: of trust that we deserve
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::Carin LaCount: self-love.
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::Carin LaCount: and people battle in their minds constantly over the ideas that religion teaches us, and
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::Carin LaCount: the problem with religion is that it is so steeped in fear, and drives so much of the guilt and shame, and all of that that we really need to get away from. And so then, too often, people are just tossing out the
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::Carin LaCount: the baby with the bathwather, so to speak. They're just they, won't they? They don't. They don't want to align or think about religion. And so then they throw out spirituality altogether, and
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::Carin LaCount: understanding
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::Carin LaCount: that, and having a
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::Carin LaCount: deeper
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::Carin LaCount: understanding of where in our decisions does that guilt that we don't deserve to have goodness reside and picking apart
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::Carin LaCount: what
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::Carin LaCount: that really looks like.
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::Carin LaCount: so that we can
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::Carin LaCount: get back to the source of it and root that out and then move forward in our decisions, and and how we behave and and just relate to other people, even.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: Wonder sometimes if it isn't
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: a matter of
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: it.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: looking externally and and taking on the opinions of society in general. I mean, it was really profound. What you were talking about about a woman taking her kids with her.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: I I once contemplated suicide.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: but my husband's mom committed suicide, and
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: I could never do that, because I I couldn't do to my children what his mom did to him.
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::Carin LaCount: Right.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: I just like
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: as bad as everything was.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: That was just not gonna happen. But
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: to to allow yourself the freedom to really examine
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: what you're thinking about.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: You know people talk about. I want to commit suicide, or oh.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: but they don't allow themselves to really think through all the whole process
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: without having to act on it. You don't have to act on every thought that comes into your head. You can just examine it and and think about the thought.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: and and not have an opinion about it.
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::Carin LaCount: Right.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: So
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: why do you think it's so important for society that we all figure this self love thing out.
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::Carin LaCount: Well.
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::Carin LaCount: because it is such a beautiful
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::Carin LaCount: aspect of ourselves, an untapped resource within ourselves, that the more that each of us can tap into that. The more love we have for ourselves. Naturally, then, the more love we have for society for others.
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::Carin LaCount: and it
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::Carin LaCount: drives our decisions to align with love
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::Carin LaCount: and not fear. So we don't have
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::Carin LaCount: this fear that
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::Carin LaCount: others are
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::Carin LaCount: going to take something from us, or this, you know, fear that someone else doing, you know, living their life the way that they're living. It is
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::Carin LaCount: wrong, and we need to judge that. And
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::Carin LaCount: a lot of our judgments are projections.
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::Carin LaCount: To other people of our own fears. So if we had love for ourselves and didn't feel that judgment, we wouldn't judge. And so often judgment creates such
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::Carin LaCount: negative karma for people it. It
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::Carin LaCount: judgments
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::Carin LaCount: to an extreme have caused people to commit suicide.
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::Carin LaCount: and so, when society is able to really understand self love and align themselves with
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::Carin LaCount: love and not fear.
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::Carin LaCount: because that's the thing that
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::Carin LaCount: is interesting in my studies on narcissism is that
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::Carin LaCount: most people, if you talk about self love. They think that means narcissist narcissistic behaviors, narcissistic attitudes, narcissists love themselves too much, and that's a problem because they do these awful things.
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::Carin LaCount: But the opposite is true they don't love themselves enough.
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::Carin LaCount: And so that's what's driving their their fearful behaviors. They're very insecure people, and
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::Carin LaCount: because of that insecurity
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::Carin LaCount: they are making decisions, and behaving in a way that is
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::Carin LaCount: harmful to themselves and to others.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: Yeah.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: And so
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: let's switch gears just a minute and talk about an old soul.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: and how you can figure out if you are an old soul, and how that impacts our lives, and how
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: past lives.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: and the choices that we make about coming into this life
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: are are shaped by
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: our soul.
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::Carin LaCount: Yeah.
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::Carin LaCount: yeah, I also go into this in in my course.
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::Carin LaCount: And
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::Carin LaCount: I've studied past lives for 30, some years. I've read
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::Carin LaCount: so many books on it. But when I read
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::Carin LaCount: Ainsley Mccloyd's the instruction that was
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::Carin LaCount: the so powerful for me, because it really gave my scientific mind something to really grab on to so
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::Carin LaCount: past lives. Oftentimes people are.
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::Carin LaCount: The conversation around past lives is just oh, you know I was Cleopatra's sister in a past life, and you know. So it gets to be this.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: So glamorous.
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::Carin LaCount: Conversation that really doesn't get us anywhere. And so the idea of past lives
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::Carin LaCount: having.
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::Carin LaCount: like we go through
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::Carin LaCount: a hundred or more lives as an old soul.
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::Carin LaCount: and the more lives that we've been through, the more we've experienced, the more empathy and compassion we develop for ourselves and for our fellow man. That's why people who are older souls are more averse to war. And
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::Carin LaCount: and just the thinking that goes behind the there's so much in politics that is driven toward me. Me, me, me, me
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::Carin LaCount: and so older souls tend to be
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::Carin LaCount: letting go of all that, and having this compassion for themselves and for others.
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::Carin LaCount: but
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::Carin LaCount: they also as older souls.
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::Carin LaCount: because they've seen it all. They have more issues, with anxiety and complacency, and
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::Carin LaCount: just
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::Carin LaCount: getting stuck and thinking, well, there's no point in doing anything, because this is what happens all the time.
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::Carin LaCount: and the
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::Carin LaCount: purpose of our reincarnating and coming into lives over and over is because each time we come into life we have specific goals to overcome, and those goals become more and more altruistic. The older we get so as a younger soul
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::Carin LaCount: you may have
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::Carin LaCount: you know your your point, your goal in life might be more self centered, but as an older soul your goal is going to be more focused on helping others, serving others, and how best to do that. And so
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::Carin LaCount: understanding that we've chosen this particular life. We've chosen even the astrological sign that we have come in under
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::Carin LaCount: to give our.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: Like message from beyond.
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::Carin LaCount: Yeah. Well, just to give our personality the various aspects that will help us accomplish whatever it is that we're coming into this life to accomplish, and those can be
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::Carin LaCount: goals that are to better ourselves. But then they can also be goals that are to
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::Carin LaCount: serve
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::Carin LaCount: humanity on a greater scale as well.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: Have to wonder.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: And this is
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: just me wondering if there aren't a number of old souls who come back and handicap themselves
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: with relationships with their primary caregivers where they're not loved.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: Forcing them
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: to
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: figure out this this love thing
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: as quickly as possible.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: you know. Sometimes you do a better job at it than others
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: as you go through your life. But
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: but yeah, I just wonder about that.
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::Carin LaCount: Well in Ainslie's book the instruction he talks about that he addresses, that that is something that is called an investigation. And so when we come into a life, we have a council of
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::Carin LaCount: spirit guides who help us decide which life we're going to choose who our parents are going to be so on and so forth, and he says that they absolutely, never, ever choose a life in which we're going to be abused.
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::Carin LaCount: And so the there is still free will. So when we come into a life and we are
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::Carin LaCount: our parents are abusive or neglectful, or, in my case, just, you know.
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::Carin LaCount: donning, not understanding unconditional love, and and
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::Carin LaCount: you get your love if you earned it.
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::Carin LaCount: Kind of thing. That is a an investigation. So that is an opportunity for you to
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::Carin LaCount: learn who you are, you know, really learn this self love thing and
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::Carin LaCount: have
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::Carin LaCount: an opportunity to understand that you don't deserve to be treated like that.
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::Carin LaCount: and to take steps
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::Carin LaCount: away from people like that, who are treating you that way, and to have that love and compassion for yourself that brings those people into your life who are going to help serve you and love you unconditionally, and support you.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: Interesting. I'm definitely gonna have to get that book.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: Yeah.
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::Carin LaCount: Because.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: Fascinating. So how do you?
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: How do you help people in your coaching practice? Is it one on one? Is it groups? Is it a
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: just a course. How how does that look?
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::Carin LaCount: Yeah, well, I have the course, and I have one on one coaching. And I have group coaching. And it's it's a. The course is specifically designed to
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::Carin LaCount: give you the
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::Carin LaCount: vocabulary and the concepts for the coaching, because
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::Carin LaCount: I just feel that it's so important that you understand what self love is, and you understand how to manage your energy. And you understand all the options that you have chosen when you came into this life, and so understanding your past lives, and understanding the mission that you've come into this world with, and the challenges, and so on, and so forth.
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::Carin LaCount: And so the course is really a precursor to any of the coaching, because then, once you learn that information.
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::Carin LaCount: having someone either in the group coaching, or if you're working with me, one on one to bounce ideas off of and
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::Carin LaCount: dissect a decision you might have made, or a period in your life of with where things are, where, where you struggled, and and so on, and so forth, with this new lens of love versus fear.
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::Carin LaCount: and to have someone like myself to just keep bringing you back to what's the love here? Where's the love
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::Carin LaCount: and
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::Carin LaCount: letting go of the fear and the judgment and the guilt? Because that's the thing that trips us up every time, and that the ego is very much a trickster in that it can
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::Carin LaCount: spin things in such a way that we think we're being loving. But if you've got someone who's got the perspective
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::Carin LaCount: such as a coach like myself to help you see where that
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::Carin LaCount: ego is tricking you again in that. In fact.
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::Carin LaCount: you are making that decision based on fear instead of love, and and just to help guide you and support you through that.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: I like that, and it's really necessary to have somebody that can say, Hey.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: dear.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: you're wandering off into the Tillies again.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: because we all do it.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: Even yeah. People that know
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: recognize the patterns and have reached a point where they're like, okay, I know I can exist in the now I can choose what I think about what I think about. And I can. I can. I have all the power.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: But there are days. We just give it all away. It's like
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: we. We fall into the old habits and and patterns, and it's
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: it's not.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: It's not easy. This thing called life.
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::Carin LaCount: Yeah.
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::Carin LaCount: But yeah.
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::Carin LaCount: I do it to myself.
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::Carin LaCount: Even. Still, you know, you get you get a goal in mind, and you get so focused on achieving that goal. And you feel as though this is my passion. This is my goal. This is what I'm gonna do you keep pushing, pushing, pushing, pushing, and you get yourself so overwhelmed that, in fact, that's where self care comes in. That's where you need to take a step back and recognize.
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::Carin LaCount: Okay, I have been pushing myself too much, and now I am so fraught with fear that every decision is poisoned with that, and that is not serving me, and I need to take a step back, take a bubble bath and go on a nature walk, do something.
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::Carin LaCount: It. Just calm my mind down.
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::Carin LaCount: so that I can reconnect to my heart, as I call it, in the book, that that part of you that loves you, that just loves you unconditionally is always there is never loud and in your face telling you what to do, but is just always holding you with that unconditional love
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::Carin LaCount: and the most.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: Voice.
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::Carin LaCount: Yeah, yeah, it just
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::Carin LaCount: helps
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::Carin LaCount: clarity.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: So you offer the 5 subconscious saboteurs of the old soul. It's a guide to help people.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: What.
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::Carin LaCount: To understand themselves, to identify with being an old soul, which
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::Carin LaCount: I always say, if you're still listening to me, talk about this, then you're an old soul.
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::Carin LaCount: So that's a given. And so that
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::Carin LaCount: the the 5 saboteurs are what I was talking about like the anxiety and the complacency and the the things that we have in our
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::Carin LaCount: thinking brain that come from this idea that we've been through it all. We've seen so much we've gone through. So I mean, we've been and done everything, and in all we've we've done over a hundred lives. We've been the murderers, and we've been murdered. We've been all of the things.
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::Carin LaCount: And so we get tired.
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::Carin LaCount: We get exhausted and we become
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::Carin LaCount: complacent. And we see, you know, I think right now what's happening in this country politically, is really scary. And so a lot of the old souls are
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::Carin LaCount: freaking out badly because they can see what what humans can do to one another, and what could happen? And that's overwhelming them.
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::Carin LaCount: But understanding that that's, you know, coming from a place as as being an old soul and understanding that, being an old soul, it it just empowers you to
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::Carin LaCount: let go of that fear again, and
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::Carin LaCount: align with the love
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::Carin LaCount: as an old soul. You also have a deeper understanding of the connectiveness of all humans, and so, being able to tap into that and use that to pull yourself out of these places where you're stuck in fear and not and not not really following your soul's purpose, because you, just overwhelmed with all that.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: I think
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: I am an old soul, and and I totally get exactly what you're talking about in in terms of
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: you can look at
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: the things that are sitting, the potential that sits on the horizon.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: And you can see, you know I I can see what's coming.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: But I can also say to myself.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: but today is a good day.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: and I can enjoy today, and I can have joy and pleasure and enjoy life.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: and I don't have to take it on. And
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: whatever's going to happen is going to happen.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: It's
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: it's it's like, you can watch a screen. And it's a movie.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: because there really isn't anything you can do that's going to impact it personally on a global scale.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: just having conversations like this and making people aware that there is another way to live where one would that's filled with
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: loving yourself to start with. But by loving yourself you love others, too.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: yeah, that's so important. So how do people get
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: your
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: your 5 subconscious saboteurs of the old tool? And how do they get in touch with you if they would like to learn more, and
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: perhaps work with you.
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::Carin LaCount: Yeah. So my website is doctor. So DRCA, RINL a, COUN T. So that's Dr. Karen lecount.com, and
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::Carin LaCount: on there you can get all of it. So on the front homepage. If you scroll down about halfway you'll see where you can sign up to get the 5 saboteurs of the old soul. You can also, see up in the menu where you can click the link to
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::Carin LaCount: maybe take the course or sign up to work with me, one on one.
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::Carin LaCount: and there's also a 21 day self love, challenge, and there is a self love quiz. So
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::Carin LaCount: I I always recommend that people start with the if if you.
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::Carin LaCount: if you're really wanting to dive into this to start with the course.
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::Carin LaCount: and then we would work together
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::Carin LaCount: or get into the group coaching. So but yeah.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: And people can contact you just to have a conversation with you about
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: which which place they should start, or if they should work with you.
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::Carin LaCount: Oh, yeah, yeah, there's a way to connect with me on the website. Otherwise, my email is Karen again, CARI n at Dr. Karen lacount.com.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: Awesome.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: So this has been a fascinating conversation. I've really enjoyed it. What's the one thing you hope the audience takes away from our discussion today?
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::Carin LaCount: I
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::Carin LaCount: would love for people to understand more deeply the concept of self love.
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::Carin LaCount: and to know that in every moment they have the choice
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::Carin LaCount: to align their
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::Carin LaCount: behaviors in their decisions with fear or love.
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::Carin LaCount: It's really perfect. Yeah.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist & Host of the You World Order Showcase Podcast: Thank you so much for joining me.
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::Carin LaCount: Thank you so much for having me.
