Harmony in Duality: Uniting Masculine and Feminine Energies in the Quest for Love
Mary McMonagle joined us to share her thoughts on Harmony in Duality: Uniting Masculine and Feminine Energies in the Quest for Love. Mary is an Energy Expansion Coach. Clearing out in mind, body and soul what no longer serves you to amplify all that you deserve and desire.
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Transcript
Hi and welcome to the You World Order Showcase podcast. Today we have with us Mary Mcmonagle. Mary is an energy expansion coach and host of living Your True vibe. She helps high achieving women shift from their masculine energy into their feminine energy using a three-step process.
::Welcome to the podcast, Mary. It's really nice to have you.
::Here. Thank you, Jill. I'm so excited to be here.
::So tell us your story. How did you get?
::Started doing all of this.
::And.
::And you were talking about being more leaning more towards helping, high, achieving women find. And I'll let you describe these men because.
::You sound really yummy. Very yummy.
::So yeah, I am.
::The feminine energy and embodiment coach and I was sharing with Jill recently. I've started to even filter down in my process of the types of women that really light me up.
::So recently I started to really work with high achieving women who maybe you're a coach or a business owner or you have a demanding profession and I help women attract love. And I've coined the.
::My uh, it's chill. Called it the yummy freeze. Uh, attract a successful, supportive, sexy and smart man.
::And and So what I what I how I guide women to do that is by shifting shifting into their feminine energy and just a little bit of background if you're not familiar with the concepts all human beings on this planet doesn't matter if you're a man or woman listening to this we all have masculine energy which is our going our doing taking action.
::Or logic.
::And then we have our feminine energy, which is our ability to soften, to surrender, to get out of our head and get into our hearts and connect with our intuition. And what I see with women who and a lot of people in general who are, go, go, go, have a lot to do, right.
::Life is life. We have a lot of responsibilities, and so it can be challenging to switch into that vibration and that's how I guide women.
::And how I got into this was through my own journey. I and I have very, very strong masculine energy. I love my masculine energy because I have big goals, big dreams. There's many things I want to accomplish in this world and for a long time I always.
::Fell off within my body. I struggled to slow down. I struggled to really listen to my intuition.
::And I can be stubborn and I refused for a little while to shift into my feminine energy because I thought that meant just doing nothing and just resting all the time and being a girly girl. Which it's totally.
::At all, and through shifting into your feminine energy through my journey.
::I was really able to unlock more power within myself and really embody embody how we as women are meant to energetically be, which is receivers we're meant to. We are very, very powerful beings. When we are fully tapped into our feminine energy, so it makes it really easy to.
::Manifests to attract love and money into our lives, so that is really what led me into this path and what lights me up, Jill.
::That's a great story. I know you're a surfer too, right?
::I am.
::Kind of a male. We used to be. It isn't anymore, but it used to be really male dominated.
::Yeah, it's so funny that you said that because I was saying the other day how being a surfer, how it is very male dominated is so feminine energy.
::Is you have to be in your body. If you are, yes, you want to and this is a good example to help people piece it together. You want to be able to take the action. Obviously you want to be able to know how to swim. You want to be able to know the basic concepts about surfing. But when you were out there, when that wave comes.
::All of that goes right out of your head, and that gets you into your natural instincts, your intuition, which is feminine energy because you don't have time to think.
::And analyze OK, the wave is coming this way. I have to go put my foot here. You just are acting in that moment and going off instinct. So I love that you brought that up because I was just saying that the other day I was like, ohh. It's such a feminine energy sport and just really a shift.
::Of energy. When you're out there.
::I can see that I I've lived around the water and I I know I live in Idaho now, but most of my life I was involved in lifeguarding and doing all kinds of water related things. So I I know a little bit about surfing. I'm not a a good surfer by any stretch of the imagination.
::But when you're when you're surfing, it's I think that it's more of a.
::Of being part of the the wave and letting go of all of the.
::The thinking pieces you just have to let it be a fluid movement as you're it's like a dance as you're getting up to standing position from being on the board, catching the wave and it, it's just like it's so beautiful and it's there's so much energy involved in it.
::Physical energy. The masculine you know the the muscles that you need to have activated and and your balance. But it's also just being in the energy of of being with the wave.
::Yeah. Yeah and.
::Moving with it.
::I love that you said that because.
::It's the wave. Is that masculine energy which is leading and leading you and a lot of women. If you are listening to this and you are really a high achiever and you like to have a lot of responsibility, as do I. But in the relationship dynamic to create an energetic polarity.
::To have this beautiful dance is to be able to soften and allow a man to lead, but also to trust yourself enough to be able to communicate and speak up. So.
::Uh, yeah, and surfing. It's like the wave is leading and then and it's such a beautiful metaphor for feminine energy and player to because the wave is leading. But look, who is the star of the show riding that wave, having so much fun. And so I love that.
::You bring that up, Jill.
::There's also an element of confidence when you you're tying these two together.
::I've been married for 29 years now, so I know a thing or two about being a a high achieving woman and I'm one of those. Go get her kind of people and get out of my way or I'll.
::Run you over.
::Yes.
::Just like that's who I am. People know that about me. But when it comes to my.
::And I have to have enough confidence in myself to know that I could just let him.
::Be.
::Yes.
::I can let him let let him lead, let him have his opinions. Let him make suggestions and and respect his input instead of just saying no, it's going to be my way or the highway.
::And the same thing is true when you're catching a wave, you're.
::You have to be confident in what you're doing or you're going to end.
::Up in the water just going to.
::Get pulled over so you can't be a a really.
::You can't just be willing to let it take you anywhere. You have to be confident in yourself.
::Yes, I love that you mentioned that because one of the things I always say surfing is life. So how I compare surfing is life is when you are paddling for that wave.
::And again, you really want to be not in your head. You really want to be just in the natural instincts and be with your body. And then when you are preparing to get ready to get into the wave and stand up, you have to look to where you're going.
::Otherwise, if you're on a pretty big wave and you're looking at the drop down and it's a big drop, you are going to fall on that drop down. So I love that you said that chill because it is confidence, it's confidence to be able to ride that wave. But look to where you want to go and be so you, you know, the wave is leading you.
::And but you also still are fully in control, because you can either choose to look down.
::And AKA in relationships you can choose to ignore red flags. You can ensure you have the choice to not set boundaries. You have the choice to not speak up and communicate your needs, or you have the choice to look to where you want to go and that is to grow with your partner, that is to know what you want.
::Know what feels good for you to communicate that to be strong in your boundaries and to show up fully confident as Joe mentioned and fully owning yourself love and that.
::Is where you can choose to look to go when you're riding the wave.
::I love that. I love that so much. And when you're when you're looking, you also talked about manifesting women are great manifesters. And I like to think of myself as a super manifestor I've had, like.
::Ohh.
::Of that.
::I am so into manifesting with intention things into your life and and setting intentions monthly and looking at what what's coming up and what you expect.
::Yeah.
::Act as a result of it and what you anticipate and and what you want and.
::Part of that is knowing who you are to start with and being able to put yourself in a future event and when it comes to attracting a a mate or just even somebody that you want to go out with.
::And yeah.
::And.
::You want to talk about knowing yourself and and knowing what you want.
::Yeah.
::Ohh I love this. Yeah the.
::What's coming to me intuitively chill is to.
::Really started off by. It's so important to know who you are because people will get into relationships.
::And lose themselves so quickly. And then given when about a year time they call that the honeymoon time. Because also that's when the logic of who you are and your brain starts to kick back in. But we get swept off our feet, so to speak.
::Where we're sometimes leading too much with our emotions because we're like, ohh, I've never felt love like this. It feels so good.
::Would and he's treating me so well. Or this person's treating me so well and we can get caught up and lost in the emotions. But we are disconnecting ourselves from the logic which is so, so, so important. I'm very big. On balance, I'm very big that we need.
::Both the logic and the emotion, that's where we kind of already hit a little bit on the logic about knowing what you want. So it's important to understand that. But when you are in a relationship knowing who you are and when you.
::For first you have to work on yourself and you have to know who you are and because when you are giving yourself that love, when you're giving yourself that confidence, when you're giving yourself insert whatever energy you want to feel and the big piece of this is when you're in that dream.
::Relationship. How will you feel?
::And to welcome that in within yourself first. So that way when the person comes, you're not relying on them to allow to help you feel that certain way. They're just.
::Pouring more into this cup that you've already filled, so now you're overflowing with this. Love, this confidence. And so that's why it's so important to really understand who will you be? What vibration will you be vibrating at and give yourself that. So that way you don't lose yourself in the relationship.
::And you really are staying empowered for who you are and what it is that you want.
::Yes, it's not two halves become one hole. It's two holes become some amazing new entity.
::Yeah.
::And I know there used to be like if if you're not your own hero, if you're trying to find somebody to rescue you, that relationship is going to be doomed. It just you don't know who you are. You're in victim mode and you're going to, you're going to drive that person away eventually because.
::Yes.
::Is they can't live your life too theirs and yours.
::When it's. Ohh yeah, go ahead.
::Go.
::Ahead. Uh, it's overwhelming. It's for your partner and that's one of the things I'm very big on teaching because feminine energy is not about what I say being a damsel in distress. Feminine energy is you are such a powerful.
::Being in your energy, but you also know the dynamics of relationships and polarity in that men crave to be needed and it can be through simple things. If you are in the kitchen and you have a jar, just asking your partner or someone you're dating or saying to open the jar.
::For you with simple things like that, where they then feel needed and then you are able to let go and soften. But it's not saying ohh I'm so weak I can't open this. It's like you know you know how strong you are.
::Are, UM, but that's where. Yeah, I'm very big on that. No, damsels in distress over here.
::I think we're all goddesses and I think goddesses are much more powerful than the gods.
::Because they control the gods. If you look, if you look at history and if you look at the stories, you'll see that they're.
::Yes.
::Yeah.
::Much more powerful.
::Yeah.
::But they're and much more beautiful in a lot of ways, even the ones that we say aren't so they're not like Venus. I always call myself the fertility goddess because I have at this point in my life, got the body of a fertility goddess. And if you look them up online, you'll know what I'm talking about.
::But you know, I own that and it makes me happy to think of myself as a goddess in that way. I was Venus when I was young. But I'm not young anymore. I don't have to be. I can be this other form of goddess, which.
::It's a lot more powerful in my mind.
::Yeah. And that word, fertility is so beautiful because I think of the power to manifest. Like you said, you're like, I claim you claimed it. I'm a powerful manifester. The ability to grow and create is that is a force.
::To be reckoned with for sure.
::It is and when you get older you get to a point where it's just like I have arrived. You don't have to really.
::You don't have to worry about the masculine energy so much because you've kind of.
::Hmm.
::I think when you're younger, you swing a lot more.
::Or because of our cycles and stuff like that, we we have times when we're much more energetic and times when we're like, no, I just have to go to bed for today. We'll try again tomorrow.
::But once you get past menopause and to me this is like the best time of my entire life. I've had great life, but it's like the balance has come more to the center where I know who I am. I.
::I know where my strengths and weaknesses are, and I can.
::I can just relax kind of into it, confident in myself, but it's alright to let other people do stuff for me.
::Whereas when you're younger, I think that's a bigger struggle for people.
::Yeah. And that's really beautiful that you like, own that and you can recognize that. And I mean, I would even challenge, I feel like it's.
::It it is it like we can look at it and say OK, younger versus older, but I feel like because you are so rooted in who you are and doing this work and because there are women out there where the the struggles of of life happen and and at any point in their lives.
::It's the only thing that is really going to.
::To keep someone rooted in who they are is is being able to confidently say yes, I know who I am. I'm willing and available for accepting help. I mean, I always think of my mom. She's 65 and I have to.
::I have to put.
::My little voice in the back of her head every time we're together. Mom, receive, receive, receive. It's OK to ask for help. It's OK. And just because given some of the circumstances and things that she's been through, but when you can really get to that place that you'll you're describing, it's.
::Like you feel it and you feel that that shift.
::You do and I think.
::I don't know your mom, but she's about my age.
::Well, it's it's and I have daughters that are. I have a daughter who's 20 and a daughter.
::Who's 40? So it's.
::I I see it in them too. The the progress that they make towards.
::Balancing, you know, when you're young, when you're really young in your 20s, you're you're all about the feminine energy because you're just trying to like.
::Figure out who you are and that's the comfortable place for you to have people do for you, so you have to kind of learn how to use the masculine energy and as the masculine energy kind of takes over for the part of your life where you have to, like do a lot. Because between the time you're 20 and the time you're about 45 or.
::50 It's it's the work years. You're either having children or you're doing a career, or you're doing something, but you're out there mixing it up.
::Yeah.
::And and that requires the masculine energy.
::Yeah, absolutely. And again, I think it kind of depends like what season of your life you're in, because I know for me myself, I grew up at a very early age because I was the youngest of four single parents. And so for my whole life, very, very much in my 20s. So my masculine energy.
::And it was really challenging for me to.
::Be able to like ask for help and surrender and also different seasons too. Where I am you know when you are it's it's really a place to balance of OK. Yeah maybe you're in your 20s and your 40s between between your 20s and your 40s.
::But you are able to go to work and have have that job and you all your responsibilities. But at the end of the day, being in your feminine energy.
::Really is really allowing yourself to, yeah, be able to communicate, ask for help. So I feel like it's important to mention too. No matter. You know, it's not like an age thing, but no matter where what is going on in your life, you're able to.
::Either be letting go and surrendering or taking that action.
::Yeah, I I agree with that a lot.
::How does your?
::Coaching. Look, do you do groups or do you do one-on-one?
::Yeah. So I do both. I have my program, my group coaching program, which is called let love in and then I have which I have my three-step process and then I do one-on-one which is the same process.
::But let love in is all about really being able to let that deeper part of your of self love in so you can attract love partner, more money, whatever it is. I have women who are also in relationships join and see the improvements that it creates in.
::Their relationship.
::Uh, but my process, what it looks like, is it the first phase is the Rs method which is the release and surrender. So this is where we're going to look at to what is holding you back. So a lot of the times it's what I see with women is the subconscious beliefs that they created.
::As a child and the beliefs that they took on from their parents, we're gonna look at the the relationship with your dad because that.
::Totally impacts not how, not only the men that you choose, but also your masculine energy personally. And then we're going to do.
::The same thing with.
::Your mom and your feminine energy. And then the second phase, which is the Magic wand system, and this is all about identity work. So now that we've.
::Made space. We've made room. We're going to really focus on. Who are you? Who do you want to be?
::And bring that in into the subconscious. And then also consciously and then the third phase, which is energetic alignment, which is all about balancing both these forces, because I always say.
::Be grounded in your masculine energy, but lead with your feminine so someone can something in your life can happen.
::But it's not going. It's not going to shake who you are at the core, but you're gonna allow yourself to be in tune and in flow with your emotions and know how to navigate that where you. But it's not defining who you are at the core.
::I love that.
::So.
::How how can people get in touch with you if they want to work with you?
::Yeah. So connect with me on Instagram at Mary MC four. Let me know that you listen to Jill's podcast. I would love to hear your takeaways if you're not on Instagram. My website is true vibe wellness.com. You can find my e-mail there. Send me an e-mail.
::Uh, or as well as TuneIn to my podcast living your true vibe.
::Yes. And we'll put all those links in the show notes to make sure people can get in touch with you. So what's the?
::You have a quiz that you were going to share with people. Do you want to talk about that?
::A little bit.
::Yeah. Yeah. So I have two uh quizzes depending on what you are feeling called to, I have a quiz which is are you in your masculine or your feminine energy? I love this quiz because it's going to when you get your results, it's going to show you how both of those energies are serving you.
::And helping you and guiding you but also.
::So ways that you can incorporate, maybe you get that you're really in your masculine. It's going to show you ways that you can incorporate being in your feminine. Maybe you get you're in your feminine energy. It's going to show you how you can incorporate more ways to be in your masculine energy. So you can really get into this nice place of energetic alignment.
::Or I have another quiz if you are single and you are desiring a relationship. My other quiz is what is standing in your way from.
::Attracting a smart, sexy, successful, supportive man and that is a really fun quiz because it's a it's gonna call you out. I'm a big believer in getting deep to the root and getting under the hood of the car, pinpointing what's the problem.
::And so that's going to really get to the root, get in and get in deep and into the depths of what could be standing in the way.
::No, that's not. No. I keep saying that, but some of these things that you're doing are so exciting. And I really believe that they're going to help people.
::How a better opportunity to find, find love we all want love in life and and to find a good partner that you can wander through life with is it's priceless.
::Yeah. And it's like it's OK too right now, if you're listening, you're like, well, I'm so happy with my life cause I get a lot of those women too are, like, I'm so happy. I'm so happy. And with the desires, is there, deep down, when you're honest with yourself. And the last thing too, I'll share. Jill is human nature. We are designed for connection.
::So imagine how.
::How much more love and happiness you can add into your life if you if if you already are so happy and so in love with your life. It's such a beautiful thing, but welcoming. And that love is also welcoming in more connection.
::Absolutely. Absolutely. And it it I'm not one of those people. That's like if you have to find a man, you just need love. We we all need love and connection. And if it's somebody at the same sex.
::Yeah.
::I don't really.
::There, but it's it's a. It's a about being able to connect with other human beings, being able to have balance in yourself.
::So.
::Yeah, exactly. It's a balance. Bringing that in and yeah, you know I I speak obviously specifically to women and bringing a man in, but whatever your choice of love is, that is beautiful. And that is just allowing your heart to open up to another individual, whether it's a man or a woman.
::Is is really a beautiful thing because opening up that heart can can be feel scary at first, especially.
::If we haven't healed from past situations, but if you are brave enough to open up that heart and say, you know what, I'm ready to let in love. That is really admirable and beautiful step to take forward.
::So true, so true. So what's the one thing you wish the audience would take away from this conversation today? We've covered so much.
::You know, this is such a good conversation, Joe. Ohh, let me tune in. The one thing.
::What I'm feeling intuitively?
::The message actually that is coming through is to trust your gut, especially because we talked a lot about love and relationships and I'm just getting this vision of someone going to a friend, a family member and asking them for advice on love. And they're saying, oh, you should do it this way and it has to be that way.
::And ohh this person's great. But your gut is like.
::I'm not sure.
::No matter what and whether it's in love, your career in general, trust your gut and and tune into that gut feeling because oftentimes we we already know what's best for us.
::And pick that first, because that's also what's going to get you to where you want to be a lot faster. So what I feel guided to share is just a reminder, trust your gut, listen to your intuition.
::Yes, especially in this day and age. Thank you so much for joining me, Mary.
::Thank you, Jill.
