ONE Key Question to Ask to Ensure Teen Motivation, Fulfillment and Success

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clare ford podcast.m4a

Transcript

:: 00:01

Hi and welcome to YouWorld Order Showcase podcast. Today we have with us, Clare Ford. Clare is the new Earth education and teen empowerment coach dedicated to inspiring our next generation. And this is such an important topic to be bringing out to the forefront because.

:: 00:20

Really we we're getting into the the era when we're we're looking at our own lives and thinking, hey, you know, I I can do something new but.

:: 00:32

We really, still our kids may be coming teenagers and looking at what the rest of their lives are going to look like at a time when we're looking at our lives going OK, what's next for me? Our kids don't need me anymore or my kids don't need me anymore. But they really do need you. Probably when they're teenagers, it's the time when they need you the most.

:: 00:54

So welcome to the show, Claire. Tell us your story, how you got started in all of this and.

:: 01:02

Go ahead.

:: 01:02

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you so much, Phil. It is lovely to be here. It's a real pleasure to be here talking to you from across the pond as we say over here in the UK. So yes, first and foremost, I think you know what? What qualifies me to have this conversation is the fact that I like you. I'm a parent of.

:: 01:21

Of older children.

:: 01:22

Now I call them my man boys. They're both at university. They're big and hairy with, you know, deep voices. But, you know, lovely, lovely, lovely boys and so, gosh, like a lot of people who'll be listening. We've been through our ups and downs, those those prepubescent pubescent years, the the tweens.

:: 01:42

The teams and and we've had some difficult times and it was actually responding to those crises that I learned a lot about myself.

:: 01:55

I learned a lot about my parenting. I learned a lot about my teaching and I decided that I needed to do something to really help teams navigate the landscape that they're in now. You know, prior to the prior to COVID, I truly believe that there was already a pandemic in teen.

:: 02:15

Mental health. Anyway, I think that that the pandemic just highlighted that to parents even more. And now since the pandemic.

:: 02:17

Oh yeah, for sure.

:: 02:26

Like.

:: 02:27

I really don't feel we've gone back to a normal at all. There are lots of young people, my sons included. You know who missed out on crucial growing up experiences which they couldn't have because of lockdown. And so you now have, you know, and and this this is this is my situation.

:: 02:47

To young people at university who are.

:: 02:51

17/18/19 who didn't get those experiences when they were 14 or 15? To know how to navigate? They're not savvy, right? They're not like worldly wise like we would have been sneaking out at 14 or having your first cigarette or something like that. Like they didn't get to do anything they didn't get to work. They didn't even get to mow lawns or.

:: 03:14

A babysit or anything, right? And so it's very strange that they've been popped out into the world and are expected by US adults to be able to navigate and get on with that. And actually, they're really a little bit lost. They're they are lost. And so I am.

:: 03:35

They have their guide right. I'm their guide to help them develop this life book. This manual which will help them navigate emotionally.

:: 03:45

Financially, spiritually, mentally and of course, to succeed academically. So yeah, that's that's one of the reasons I'm doing what I'm doing.

:: 03:57

Are you are you a coach for the parents, the teens or the both?

:: 04:03

How does that work?

:: 04:04

So yeah, so I started off coaching both. I do feel that parents could benefit from coaching, you know, especially as the teenagers become more self aware or more open to different kinds of conscious conversion.

:: 04:19

Questions. If the parents are shutting them down and aren't on the same page, that can of course cause situations, but what I'm currently doing is I coach the teens and I have some coaches who coach parents who coach the parents alongside. So yes, it is like a A2 pronged approach.

:: 04:40

But my passion and gifts and talents are working with young people.

:: 04:45

So I know you were talking about the the suicide rates, which are kind of off the charts these days and they were before the pandemic also. I mean it, it's just crazy the impact that the Internet has been great in some ways. But I think all of this.

:: 05:03

Alternate living. I'll call it, and I don't think it's just the Internet. It's gaming specifically on the Internet that has drawn people into living in an alternate universe and they they struggle when it comes to having real personal relationships or dealing with the reality that they've created for themselves.

:: 05:23

Wells.

:: 05:24

In the the more physical aspects of the world, so you want to talk about how important it is to incorporate the emotional well-being into the personal development of these these kids and. And that's really actually starts when they're pretty young.

:: 05:43

Yeah, definitely. Definitely, gosh, there's a lot I could say about that. So one of the things just to share with people that happened to us as a family is that my son's best friend committed suicide when he was 15.

:: 05:57

And that shock our shocked our community that obviously shocked our family, shocked, you know, the school community. It had a big, big impact, which I think my son hasn't properly recovered from. He literally saw him two days before he went and he maybe even been one of the last people to see him.

:: 06:19

You know, and even on his old phone and things like that, he had pictures of his friend and he didn't want to change his phone because, you know, because of those kinds of things and.

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So this really shook our world and This is why I set up switched on because what I realized was.

:: 06:37

That the education system was failing our young people and they were switched off. They were disengaged. Like you're saying, their reality didn't match what they wanted it to be and they couldn't navigate through that. They felt isolated, you know, and one of the reasons I think that that Alex's friend did commit suicide.

:: 06:57

Was because he was an artist. He was a really beautiful soul. He was a gifted and talented creative.

:: 07:09

And in the grammar school system which we have over here, which is.

:: 07:14

You know, very competitive for want of a better word.

:: 07:20

That that wasn't nurtured, that side of him wasn't seen, and even by doing art GCSE and things like that, it's still very not paint my numbers, but it's like do it in the style of this, do it in the style of that he.

:: 07:35

Wasn't allowed to explore.

:: 07:37

Fit in the box.

:: 07:38

Yeah, his own style and and and.

:: 07:40

My and my son is now an artist and he really struggled with that.

:: 07:45

Do.

:: 07:46

And this is the failing. This is the failing that we're not seeing the young people in front of us for who they really are, for what it is that they're here to do for the gifts and talents and passions that they're bringing to the table that they're bringing to humanity at this time.

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We need the creatives. We need the daydreamers, the thinkers, the artists, the musicians.

:: 08:12

We need these people to raise our vibration on a soul level, right, because this is what speaks to us as a human race. This these are things that everybody can understand on some level and so.

:: 08:27

It really broke my heart to to witness that. And so yeah.

:: 08:34

This is why I set up switched on and This is why I realized that we have to.

:: 08:39

Put.

:: 08:40

You know, we do. We were doing it all wrong. We're looking if you people who are listening, if you imagine if you imagine like a pyramid or if you imagine an iceberg and at the tip of the iceberg is the academic success, it's the grey days, it's the.

:: 08:54

You know, coming top in swimming, it's the horse riding. It's the ballet. It's all the stuff.

:: 08:58

That we as parents go. Ohh, My child is excelling, you know? And we pat ourselves on the back. Well done me for, for, for feeding and fueling my child's dreams. To be the best ballet dancer. They might hate ballet. Like, have we actually stopped to ask them? Right? Anyway.

:: 09:16

What we see is that, but what needs to happen underneath the surface for that to be healthy?

:: 09:23

Me is that we have to have the personal and spiritual development and we have to have the emotional well-being. We have to develop emotional literacy further in our young people. And so I decided to do that here at switched on by creating by saying, you know, our children will be educated.

:: 09:43

Sick. We want that, but actually it's not enough. They need to be empowered and they need to be elevated to step into their true mission. Their true sole mission of who they're here to be. And that is where so many of us have.

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Being able to to figure out how that is.

:: 10:00

Is.

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Yeah, yeah.

:: 10:02

It looks for them and it's not always obvious, and I was telling you, I've had five children and I know each one of them is gifted differently and each one of them has certain strengths and weaknesses and, you know, further education isn't always the best route for everyone. It.

:: 10:22

And and being able to help them develop, uh ideas about where they can take their superpowers. Because I believe everybody has a superpower, it's just.

:: 10:33

It's not readily apparent sometimes when they're really young, you have to wait for them and watch and and let them figure it out, you know.

:: 10:45

Well, this is one of the.

:: 10:45

And then lean into it.

:: 10:47

Yeah, this was one of the gifts of the pandemic, right, which I thought was fabulous, you know, in the in the home education community, which I I set up over that time I set. I was saying to friends, let your child be bored. Don't keep giving them things to do. Let them be bored. Because when our children are.

:: 11:04

Bored or teenagers are bored. That's when they start getting these whispers from their soul to tell them what they can, what they want to do, and you know, and this is where we suddenly saw amazing, incredible artists or bakers or musicians, you know, hitting YouTube videos by storm going viral.

:: 11:24

The things that they created and people are like, well, they're only such and such an age and they've already done.

:: 11:29

Well, yes, because they're expressing their soul. They don't have to be fit into the box to do something which they don't want to do. They've got the freedom to explore and as a result, I was able to work with young people and get them to do incredible things like become a a published author in a week, right. This is something that we do here.

:: 11:49

We break, we break time barriers, we break through the ceiling that parents are putting on their children of expecting what they can do. We need to break through that and allow them to surprise and delight us with what they actually can do.

:: 12:09

And they have. They have so many talents and and when you let them get bored.

:: 12:16

But you show them how to find information, then no. And and you open the door and say, you know, go.

:: 12:24

Research that that's an interesting question. Learn teaching them how to ask questions and then find the answers for themselves. They could come to you and say, what do you think I should do? And you say well.

:: 12:37

I don't know what do you want to do and let them explore what they want to do rather than what you think they should do.

:: 12:45

Yeah.

:: 12:45

Yes, absolutely. Absolutely that Joe. And this is what makes our philosophy here not unique in a sense, but it makes it, it makes it work because I say to, you know, explain to parent.

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The learning that the children do has to be relevant, meaningful and fun. It has to be relevant. So the reason that children are switched off education is because they're sitting in school and they're thinking, well, how is this relevant to me? Why do I need to know what a simultaneous equation is? And I say that I don't know. I've not used a simultaneous equation.

:: 13:20

For 30 years, I don't know why you need to learn a simultaneous equation, right? So it might be relevant to some people, but it's not relevant to everybody. And this is the thing it's making the learning relevant to them, to their experience as right now.

:: 13:36

And and meaningful to them in such a way that they then want to go and explore. And This is why curiosity is such a crucial thing.

:: 13:47

Yeah, if you do nothing else.

:: 13:50

Encourage curiosity in your children about everything, and don't ever tell them they're wrong, that there is no such thing as right and wrong. There's just a different perspective.

:: 14:03

You might not agree with that perspective, but man, you can learn a lot just from acknowledging that it exists.

:: 14:09

Yes, and that we don't need to have all the answers as parents as well. We need to like step away from our egos and just be do you know what? I don't know the answer to that. Like I I used to set like a little mini task a challenge for people and I would call it the window game. Right. The window game people like what can I do with my child?

:: 14:30

You know, like play the window game. All it is is is you sit side by side and you just look out of your way.

:: 14:36

No, it doesn't matter if you're in a flat or if you're a mansion, right? You look out of the window and you wait.

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To see what it is you begin observing right, and even if all you can see is a cloudy sky, you can start to ask questions. Why are there great clouds in the sky?

:: 14:55

Right. Why is? Why are some of the clouds moving and some of?

:: 14:59

The clouds on.

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Right. Why is the bird flowing that way and not the?

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Other way and.

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All of this leads you to understand about the real natural world around you. Just about asking curious questions by looking outside a window.

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And people are like, I never thought to do that and it's.

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Like how can?

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You not ask questions about what's outside your window, but this is it. We've been kind of dumbed down as a species and stopped from asking questions and I think that, you know, critical thinking, creativity and curiosity.

:: 15:32

See and you can speak into this job because you've got young people in entrepreneurship and business, but I think that these are the key foundational soft skills. They're so crucial, though, which is going to make somebody successful or not, because all the rest can be done on computers and AI and phones and Wikipedia and everything else.

:: 15:54

You don't actually need to retain knowledge. You can ask a sensible question and get the knowledge.

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But it's the critical thinking is that knowledge accurate? Can I ask something else? Where else can I go? Who else can I ask? What else could I look at right? Which is going to then really elevate that person in a working environment?

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And all of those things that you just stated are asking questions, teaching your child how to ask the right questions is like the key to everything as far as I'm concerned with education.

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As long as you know how to ask the right.

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The right questions and this leads into something else that we're going to talk about, which is how you can switch your children back under reading and writing.

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Help them elevate their vocabulary.

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If you have a good vocabulary, the better your vocabulary is, the bigger your thoughts can be.

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And that was that was a stunning revelation to me many years ago, so I always worked on helping my kids.

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Really develop.

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Expansive vocabularies, I mean we we would look up words word of the day and I still use some of the words that my kids found and I'd let them find them and tell me what they meant, and then we'd go around looking to incorporate that word into our into our vocabulary. When when Fauci first came out.

:: 17:25

I didn't want to call him evil, so I I looked up a new word for him, so I will always remember him as fast and ouchy.

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It.

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It's an. It's another word for evil, but most people don't know it. And.

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It it it just is like a bigger I had a couple other words that came up, but that was the one that stuck with me but.

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If you give your.

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Children.

:: 17:51

The chance to explore words and what words mean, because words all have meaning specific meanings, and then then it gets it gets to be a game and it gets your. Your life gets much richer because you have words to describe your thoughts and it allows your thoughts to expand.

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So what are your thoughts about?

:: 18:13

Reading and writing and.

:: 18:14

Ohh my gosh. Well, The thing is, the reason that I am so passionate about writing, you know, speaks into what you're saying, Jill, because I know as.

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You know, as an energy healer, as somebody who is interested in a life of abundance, that our thoughts create the world.

:: 18:38

That we live in and we have to be masterful of our thoughts and in order to manage our thoughts. First of all, we've got to get quite enough to hear them. But when we hear the tiny little voice that we that we, you know, and we listen carefully.

:: 18:51

Really, we need to be very specific about, OK, that's a good thought. That's not such a good thought. That's somebody else's thought right now. In order to get children to that stage or teenagers to that stage, they first of all have to be mindful of their, of their words. They have to be mindful of the fact that their thoughts are made-up of words.

:: 19:12

And that their words are their limited vocabulary. And, as you say, if they can't, if they don't have an extensive vocabulary, they can't express their thoughts as words. And if they can't express their thoughts as words, they can't choose better higher level though.

:: 19:28

That's and then they can't create a life that they desire, so it all starts with words like it says in the Bible. It starts with the word right. Words are powerful. And so for me, getting young people to express themselves through language is the first step.

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To really elevating them into unlocking their superpowers.

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Oh, my God, you just reminded me of something. It's a it's a Bible verse. I knew it was in the beginning. Was the word. The word was God. And the word was with God.

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Yes, and everything that is was created through.

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That through the word that just speaks to the idea that.

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Yeah.

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And God spoke the world into existence. He created the reality. And if we are all God, and I do believe we are all part of God, then we have that power. But it's the power through.

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That's right.

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Words, words, their vibrations. They create things and they really do.

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Our thoughts become our actions and our actions become.

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What we manifest, and if you have, if you speak and never, never, never ever speak negatively over your children. Ever.

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Yeah.

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Or.

:: 20:52

Because it it, it's like cursing them. It is actually cursing them. You always want to be blessing your children. They may do things that irritate the crap out of you, but don't comment on it. Just really focus on the things that they're doing well and you'll get more of that. It. It's the whole gratitude thing, you know.

:: 21:12

What you focus on is what you perceive in your reality, because with.

:: 21:16

Yeah.

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That's which.

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You bring more of into your reality.

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Exactly. And so this.

:: 21:22

Hitting might chatter this negative self belief that so many teenagers have, you know comparison. Itis Instagram picture perfect, all of this rubbish like it's really affecting them. They say, you know, I'm not big enough. I'm you know, I'm not clever enough. I'm not small enough. I'm not pretty enough. I'm not enough enough, enough, enough. And they say this long enough and and.

:: 21:42

They they're shriveling, their soul is shrivelling. And so we have to give them the tools to catch this.

:: 21:49

You know, and we all have to. We all have to do this. We all have to work on this. But if we can catch children younger where they ohh. That's not a helpful thought. Let me see if I can flip it and you know we give positive affirmations and give children and teens tools on how to do all of this.

:: 22:08

You know, and as you said, you know, meditation, journaling, all of these kinds of techniques. You know, kids can be brilliant at. It doesn't have to just be adults that do these things. And so.

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It's my vision that these young people who will grow up to be our next leaders will be able to lead with compassion, will be able to lead with love, will be able to lead because they understand who they really are and they're putting the right words out there, vibrating at the right rate.

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To elevate everybody. And then this is this will really be the new world order.

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This will be the thing.

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We call it EU world order around here and that's exactly why we started this podcast. It's.

:: 22:59

To elevate everybody together and we don't have to compete with each other. There's enough to go around. We need to appreciate the uniqueness of everyone and not try to shove everyone into the same in between the same lines. It goes to what you were saying earlier about, you know, trying to.

:: 23:21

Give kids art, but you have to do art this.

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Way art.

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Art, by definition, isn't done this way. It's done. However, how you want to do it and.

:: 23:31

Yes, yes, my my son used to get so cross, he said. But mum, why am I doing this? Picasso's already done Picasso, he said. I'm Alex forward. I wanna do Alex Ford, not Alex Ford doing Picasso. What is that?

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Yes.

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Yeah. Yeah, it's.

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Yeah.

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It's not still.

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Nobody told Picasso he had to do what he he.

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Was.

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Doing no. Maybe he thought. Yeah. So he had to do Monet. Can you?

:: 23:52

No.

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Imagine. Yeah. No, he wanted to do something different.

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Exactly. Exactly.

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I I do have a tip for the listeners and we found this really helpful in our House and it's from Marissa Pierce and it's right. Right on your bathroom mirror we started with. I am enough. I wrote it on the bathroom mirror and then people came along and.

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Took the.

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Erasable marker because you can use erasable markers on your mirrors and and and they wrote other comments, other affirmations.

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So every time somebody went to the bathroom, they were getting the affirmation and they were seeing it and it and thinking about it.

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It's it's it's an easy thing to do, but sometimes we get we get caught in our heads thinking about things that don't serve us. And when you just, you know, glance at something that's empowering like that.

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It can be I am enough. I am significant. I have great ideas. I'm powerful, I'm strong. I'm, you know, whatever you want to put up there and it can change every day, every week.

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Once a month, I don't care. It's your house, your mirror. You do what you want, but having those kinds of reminders when you're.

:: 25:11

You know it's someplace where you're going.

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To go often.

:: 25:14

And it's super helpful and and have little shifts in your thinking?

:: 25:18

Yes. And what's beautiful is that you've gifted that to somebody else in your family. You see with our self sabotage. You know, we could, we could be, we could say, right. This is the statement that I need and we're standing there looking at that statement and then you're self-conscious like that. You don't really believe that, right. Like you're just saying that because you're you're doing.

:: 25:38

You know, positive affirmations for the law of attraction on a on a mental level. That's what you're learning, but you're so good, you're going now. No, you're not. Who you trying to kid? Right. But when you give it that to somebody else.

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MHM.

:: 25:50

And they're walking into their bathroom and going out and ohh, I wouldn't have thought to put that for me. And it makes you stop and think, right. And one of the ways that I like to get our brains working around our formations rather than just a statement like that is for me. I found it to be even more powerful for me and the students.

:: 26:11

Is to do. How come in the front? How come I am enough?

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Yes, asking questions.

:: 26:17

Because then your brain is solve the problem right? Whether you're going, I'm enough. No, you're not. You don't really believe that. Go. Well, how come I'm enough? And then your brain starts finding reasons why you are.

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This makes your.

:: 26:30

How come I'm so powerful? How calm I'm surrounded by love, right? How come I'm always supported? Ohh you do you think?

:: 26:38

You are ohh.

:: 26:40

Actually that there was a time when you were right and you start to find evidence and then.

:: 26:45

Yes.

:: 26:45

You have to believe it.

:: 26:47

Yes. Yeah, your brain has to believe it more than anything else. It's yeah.

:: 26:53

It doesn't even have to be a conscious effort. It just starts happening.

:: 26:59

Yeah, exactly, exactly. So that's a good little tip. Like how come question is A is a good tip and my other little tip with questions is my magic words. My four letter words. Don't. Don't worry, don't worry. And my 4 letter word is.

:: 27:17

Else so important. So when you know when somebody's stuck or whatever and ohh right, you know, done everything I'm you know, can't can't do this anymore if you ask not just what but what else? How else can I do this? Where else can I go? It implies you've already made some effort.

:: 27:38

But there's still a.

:: 27:38

Little bit more effort to go which you haven't necessarily thought of, and so then we're tapping into this kind of universal collective mind, right and thinking well, I haven't worked this out, but where else could I go? Who else has done it?

:: 27:57

Where else have I seen this right and again, it just elevates the way that we ask better questions.

:: 28:06

Yes, and it really does come back to asking the better questions. Having the good vocabulary and asking better questions. So what do you do if your kids aren't very confident learners?

:: 28:19

Well, we need to get to the reason of why they're not, and normally they're they're switched off and it boils down to, you know, have a long conversation. But if I just take us right.

:: 28:30

To the conclusion.

:: 28:31

It boils down to really just a couple of things.

:: 28:35

That their questions and I can give an example of a story if we've got time.

:: 28:41

Yeah.

:: 28:43

So I'll give the story first. So one of my students prior to COVID was coming to my house, you know, before we couldn't do that anymore and he was like a really quirky boy. I loved working with, like, quirky kids and he, but he was revising for what we have, the 11 plus over here. It's a bit like your sats, but for younger children.

:: 29:03

And it was a really hard exam, so it.

:: 29:04

Was very you.

:: 29:05

Know structured and one day he came in and he was all slouching and Moody like boys get like I was like Oh my goodness. Like what's happened to you? Why are you like this in this funk, you know? And he was like ohh I asked my teacher a question today but she didn't answer me.

:: 29:23

And I'm like, OK, so, well, you know, there are 29 other people there and maybe you were lining up to go out or something. She might not have had time or maybe she didn't know the answer. I was kind of making a few excuses. I've been a teacher in that position. So we're not blaming or shaming teach.

:: 29:40

This but.

:: 29:42

So I asked him, well, what question did you ask, you know? And he said that he wanted to know about The Big Bang theory. Well, of course this poor teachers. You know what?

:: 29:59

Right. So they were probably in an RE lesson and he was thinking, I'm not sure about this business because I've heard about The Big Bang theory. And so he was asking about that and I said, you know what Harvey's name was? I said that is a brilliant question.

:: 30:15

I said, well, we're doing information writing for our module. Why don't you do your project on how the world began? Fantastic, right? Like you said, get them to explore and and and research and all of that. So brilliant. That's what he was going to do anyway. Came back the following week. I was all excited. I was ready.

:: 30:35

Right. I was ready for and is how the world began fearing.

:: 30:39

So we sat down. I'm like, why? What do you want to know? And oh, my gosh, deal. This literally breaks my heart. And he was like nothing.

:: 30:50

What?

:: 30:50

Do you mean you don't want to know anything? But we were doing, you know, The Big Bang theory and how the world started. No, don't. Don't really want to know anything I said. Well, we're doing information writing, so we need to write some information.

:: 31:02

You know what else you interested in? Ohh, nothing really said.

:: 31:06

So what do you mean you're not interested in anything? Well, kind of. Know everything already. And I was like ohh my gosh in that short space of time that student went from being switched on to switched off.

:: 31:22

Yeah, and this is what happens when you say, you know, why isn't my child confident? They just can't be bothered anymore because somewhere along.

:: 31:29

Line through parent, teacher, adult interaction, peer interaction or something. They have not been seen, heard, or validated. That is what's happened. That's the bottom line and I know I've done this hand on heart. As a parent, you know, you get your kids home, you're busy. You're unloading the dishwasher, you're cooking the tea. You're.

:: 31:50

Packing the book bags, you're you're doing all 100 things in there about their day and going on and on and on about this random stuff. You're not listening. And that's the worst thing we can do.

:: 32:00

You.

:: 32:02

And it's better to say to them I am not listening to you because I'm doing 100 things. Can we just have our tea and then you can tell me all about your day, right. It's better to say that, honestly, than pretend you're listening. Giving them half a name. And we're like, yeah, yeah, whatever. Yeah. Yeah, right.

:: 32:19

And then wonder why where we say put your hand up if you know the answer, don't bother to put.

:: 32:23

The hand up, we're not gonna listen to me anyway.

:: 32:27

Yep.

:: 32:29

So that's what it.

:: 32:29

Or they've been told they're wrong. Nope, you're wrong.

:: 32:31

And they've told it long. They've been laughed at. I've been told they're stupid. It's a silly idea. What are you thinking? Are you crazy? All these kinds of things.

:: 32:41

I used to get told off for daydreaming too much, but daydreams are where the ideas come from, right?

:: 32:47

Where the magic happens.

:: 32:48

That's right.

:: 32:49

That's where the visionaries live. So yeah, don't tell a child off for daydreaming. They're coming up with amazing.

:: 32:58

Things.

:: 33:00

So yeah, that's when they're unconfident. That's why they they that somewhere down the line they've been not heard, not seen, not validated for who they are. And so they just start to switch off.

:: 33:12

So it's about creating a positive learning environment where they are encouraged to put their hand up to speak out, to say what's on their mind to, to test things out, to learn about growth mindset, skills, where it's OK to make a mistake, we're failing forwards together.

:: 33:12

It says that.

:: 33:28

So shoulder to shoulder learning approach, I'm learning while you're learning. I'm learning from you. You're learning from me, right? It's this kind of environment which creates then the confidence to have things.

:: 33:44

For sure. So how does your coaching look? Is it one-on-one, is it?

:: 33:49

So we have we have hybrids. I do some one-on-one coaching and we also have group coaching. We have small groups, we have bigger groups, we have people who are mixed abilities, mixed ages, neurodiversity. I don't, I'm not. We have some groups who are.

:: 34:09

Older children, the teens, some groups who are the younger children.

:: 34:13

It's not so much about their ability like they're not according to ability or anything like that, because I've had, you know, 9 year olds who can outstrip 12 year olds. So the age isn't really the thing, right. It's more about their attitude to learning. So I only work with students who want to be switched on learners. They might not come switched on to start with.

:: 34:35

That they know they've got that something inside them that they want to be lit up again as a learner. And so it's about their coachability rather than their ability. Does that make?

:: 34:48

And.

:: 34:48

Makes total sense, so you're not just looking for people with high IQ's, you're looking for people that are out there wanting to explore things in life but aren't really.

:: 35:01

The traditional go to school student where you're going to school and you're just.

:: 35:08

Getting the information you need to pass the test you want.

:: 35:11

I have some. I have some children like that. I mean of course, you know, I can help those children and.

:: 35:18

I'm.

:: 35:19

But what I make sure that I'm doing is I'm helping them emotionally. I'm giving them tools, I'm giving them tools to manage their stress and anxiety because of these tests coming up, I'm keeping them grounded. Right. I'm holding the space for them, you know? And I'm. I'm giving them, of course, strategies and techniques, timing, you know, timing the test, all of that kind of stuff too.

:: 35:23

Yeah.

:: 35:40

But yeah, just making sure that that they're OK.

:: 35:45

Yeah.

:: 35:46

Yeah, that's fantastic. So I know that you offer a triumphant student toolkit.

:: 35:51

And we will put the link to that. Do you want to talk about that just a little bit?

:: 35:55

Yeah, sure. So in the triumphant student toolkit. So the reason I created this was because I wanted, I wanted parents to have something that they could refer to which would help make school that little bit easier. You know, not everybody has the opportunity to homeschool their child and.

:: 36:15

School refusal is on the up, you know, as we said, there's stress and anxiety is increasing.

:: 36:21

And sometimes people don't have the language to handle these big emotions. So one of the things that I talk about in there is an ultimate guide to emotional mastery, like helping child handle. They're big emotions, which then unlocks the confidence that you, you know, we were mentioning and helps them build up some resilience as well.

:: 36:42

That they know that not every day's gonna necessarily be a good day, right? And that that's OK.

:: 36:48

With the confidence it's about equipping them with tools to conquer self doubt and embrace those new experiences, you know, maybe giving parents the opportunity to to talk them through what their first day in secondary school is gonna be like or what it's gonna be like on the morning when they're going to their GCSE exams.

:: 37:08

Whatever it is like feel into that.

:: 37:11

Like.

:: 37:12

Future pace, right? So we do. You know, I don't call it timeline collapse, but that's basically what it is. Plot them into the future. Let them feel the emotions and they think ohh, OK, that wasn't so bad. You know, I can handle this managing their time. Oh my gosh, so that they're more productive, you know, putting away the things that aren't serving them.

:: 37:32

Touching their phone downstairs, this kind of thing just being organized, getting their backpack ready. There's a there's some checklists in there for making sure that they've got the right things that they need to get to school, because I remember, oh, my gosh, trying to get my kids off to school in the morning.

:: 37:48

Was just crazy at one point when I think I had 16 year old and a 14 year old and and then also giving them some tools to.

:: 37:59

Elevate them as a learner to take some responsibility for their homework and things like that.

:: 38:04

So making sure they complete their homework, making sure that they know when to hand things in, like some really practical tools, because this is what people are struggling with, you know, on a day-to-day.

:: 38:16

Basis get out. Get getting them up. Getting them out, getting them ready. Like go, go, go, go to school, do the things you need. Come home, do the things you need. Ohh, and then we can all just relax and that can be really hard. And you, you know, you know that. You know, having had five children, some in school, some not in school.

:: 38:36

It must have been crazy at times, so that is what I'm hoping the uh, 12 foot student tool kit provides for parents and their children.

:: 38:46

That sounds like an awesome toolkit. So how can people get in touch with you?

:: 38:51

So the easiest way is obviously I'm on social media so they can look up their forward. It's CARENOI but also my website is switched on global.com if they go on there there is a way for people to get in touch with me. There's also another freebie that they can access on there.

:: 39:11

And and there's like a little form if that anybody's got any question.

:: 39:14

And they can fill that in. My DM's are always open and I'm always happy to have a conversation with parents who want their kids to be, you know, switched on learners. So yeah, switched on global.com or just find me on social media. Claire forward.

:: 39:32

Perfect. Perfect. So what's the one thing that you hope the audience takes away from our conversation today? We've covered so much.

:: 39:40

I know, I know, it's so difficult to kind of put it in a nutshell, but you know, to quote one of my favorite like educators ever.

:: 39:48

You know Einstein? I think it was him who said, you know, if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its life believing it's stupid. And this is the whole point. We have to see the child who is in front of us for who they are.

:: 40:08

Not for who we want them to be.

:: 40:13

Yes, we'll leave it with that. That's so great. Thanks for joining me.

:: 40:19

Thank you.